To End a War
by tamarindblue
Summary: A ruler, his soldier brother, their allies against an enemy and the women between them all. Sisters, Lovers, Wives and Hostages, women in Harems who control courts. Can a person's heart ever change? Or Was it basically in the wrong place?
1. The blue in their hearts

_**Chapter 1:**_

_**The Blue in their hearts**_

The blue sea .. their destination isn't a far travel in the sea, literally speaking and the weather is on their side.

House Higurashi.. or rather the remenants of it are departing from their kingdom, the one they have been ruling for nearly 500 years, moving under the protection of house Inutaishu after their territory was lost to the warlord Naraku in a vicious war.

The distance isn't far yet Kagome feels it vast and vast miles in her heart, memories and land and buildings that her family strived to build, a future that was already planned : marrying the respectable Shoji of court and being a counsel under her brother's Sota's reign .. things that always seemed clear and whilst she didn't always approve of those best laid plans, she now thinks they were far better than the insecure sea she is sailing now.

_'Relax, this is just temporary. we will be back soon' _her mother soothed

But Kagome feels it in her heart, they will never be back.

* * *

It has been three months.

He urges his horse to run viciously across the forest, to outrun its fatigue ...

Kikyo has been gone for three months, held captive by Naraku and he is doing nothing.

_'Faster' _he roars

He can hear her voice creeping along the swooshing trees .. 'Inuyasha'

And he can hear ... screams

He sees Red as in blood. He sees milk tinted with wine .. and oh he sees all the things that plagues a man's nightmare.

He also sees Blue.

The horse stumbles

_'I will Kill you, Sesshomaro'_

It falls

_'Then I will kill you, Naraku'_

* * *

He carries a tray and marches with heavy steps towards the secluded ward. He knows the dignified prince, ruler of the Northern lands shouldn't be doing this.

His hesitation even wins him over momentarily and he stops short of his hostage's door, considering to turn back and go his way, let any servant do this job for him.

He doesn't

_'You yearn to see her,don't you?!' _his mind mocks him '_You can't resist it'_

And indeed he can't.

The heavy door screeches as he walks in with heavy steps

She is sitting down, her back is facing him. She is looking at the sky, the dark blue sky and he can't help but glance its way as well.

She never looks at the door, nor at him.

He lays down the tray

"Eat" he commands

Kikyo doesn't budge, she doesn't acknowledge him at all.

It further strokes his Ire

"Look at me when I speak to you"

He forcibly turns her around to face him.

She looks frail, paler than last time he saw her 2 days ago

Yet still, he shoves her to the nearby wall and whispers right behind her

"You look at me when I come here, you look me in the eye .. don't mistake my mercy for weakness. You eat, properly eat or I will shove the food down your throat. It isn't much anyway. I am keeping you alive the same way you kept me"

He takes a few steps back now, giving her room to turn and face him.

And this time she looks him in the eye a mere second .. The contempt in her eyes tells him all he needs to know

'_If the clocks would turn ...' _

Then she goes back to ignoring him like he is never there.

And he storms away.

* * *

"She really has resolve" Kanna singsongs, snickering as she watches her brother dragging his tail between his legs as he exits the room.

"Shut up, Kanna"

"Better keep your head together, brother" she reproached "Better keep your head, your heart and all your other things together until we get Kagura back"

"Don't let me repeat myself twice" he sniggered

* * *

The one who receives them at port is an advisor, a young man named Miroku and while he looked powerful and of status ... and he genuinely seemed nice kicking off with her grandfather almost right away but he had a certain creepiness and lewdness in his eyes that made Kagome and her mother slightly uncomfortable.

"You don't talk much, Higurashi Sama, Kagome-chan"

"We are just tired of the journey" the elder woman smiled politely

"Oh, I see .. we are almost there. Once we arrive, you can rest all you want before meeting Lord Sesshomaru"

"Of course"

Kagome peeked at the eastern lands from her carriage window, a lively place, a sea of people.

_'It isn't so dissimilar from Home'_

"We are here" Mirako Announced

Kagome and her mother stepped out in front of the palace.

_'It is a new beginning'_

Something in her heart whispered.


	2. The time before time: First encounters

_**The time before time: First encounters**_

Naraku was sipping his minted tea.

A storm was brewing outside.

He hummed against the rain and thunder

_'The road drives me to you tonight_

_Your eyes, your hair that spills like endless nights_

_A moment I am your mad lover, the other your sworn enemy_

_Is it me who calls to you or the other way round?!'_

Today marks the day of his first encounter with the one who will be his future blight.

_He was running for his life, injured .. burnt and bruised. That daimo was particularly brutal and his mercenaries, like all the others vowless and he swears upon all that is mighty if he survives .. he will make them pay._

_Finally all wisps of strength leave him and his legs give out._

_If He ..._

_And as his his world blackens and the pain weighs deeply upon both his eyes and heart_

_he wonders if he is too worn down, too traumatised to even want to. _

He is faraway from this place now, but the weariness, it didn't leave him.

Once he was a pristine prince .. exiled, dethroned and usurped, kinless save from his sisters whom he had to fend for, no allies, no friends.

With a poisoned mind and a ruthless heart, He survived back then.

Now, he is a king and a warlord, vicious , feared and respected. He avenged himself and his late house.

_He winced in pain._

_His first instinct was to break those hands that were touching him, and indeed he held hard on the wrists, a little more and they might have snapped or so he thought back then._

_He knows now that he was too frail and she is too strong._

_"leave my wrists, so I could finish cleaning your wounds"_

_It was a woman's voice, quiet , soft yet authorative and firm._

_His vision was blurred, the lights were dim, he could only make out the contours and soft lines of her face._

_He loosened his grip._

_"Where am I?"_

_"Safe"_

_"Such a curt reassuring answer" his voice was laced with venom and mockery yet it failed to unnerve her, to shake her even for the slightest bit._

_He was so pathetic._

_"Kikyo" a voice called as a young girl barged through the door, panting_

_"Kikyo ... Inuyasha is here"_

_"I am coming with you in a moment"_

_It took te girl a moment to rest, to register the scene around her , Only a huff escaped her when her eyes fell on his body, particularly the burn mark then she fell dead silent._

_"Get back to sleep" She stood up "I will come back in the evening" _

_By the time, the young girl- her sister Kaede- he would learn later, had opened the door and Kikyo already marched towards it, sparing him a one last glance._

_The light by the door now illuminated her features and there she stood, Lady Kikyo shining in all her glory._

_He was instantly struck. _

* * *

Kagome and her mother walked through halls. something about how the way maids backed off once they looked at her freaked her out. Sure Miroku creeped her enough but now ...

It doesn't matter

They would meet the lady Inutaisho first, mother of Lord Sesshomaru and the rest of the noble women.

They were led to a large room, a common room maybe that filled with all kind of noise, whispers, giggles and ...

Then silence.

Lady Inutaisho's presence was being announced.

Her first impression of the lady was that she was very proud, with defined features and a very confidant aura. Granted, she was extremely beautiful in the past and she remains even in her current age, but she lacked a certain softness that her mother possessed, that she herself thought possessed.

Her presence was truly over whelming.

Her smile was contained, her facade tight and guarded as she greeted them.

Her mother curtsied, Kagome followed suite

"Lady Inutaisho"

"Lady Higurashi"

"Your daughter.." she stated matter of fact as she gestured towards Kagome

"Yes"

"I am Kagome, Higurashi Kagome"

Something shifted in the room, did she do something wrong? ohh... those looks again.

She felt like a cornered animal ...

"You look so much like Lady Kikyo of Shikon" Lady Inutaisho cleared the air "You are quite as remarkable as well"

Kagome spoke nothing in turn, she had already made a fool of herself.

"You will find lots of peers among the courtisians here, Lady Kaede, Lady Sango and of course my dear grand daughter, Lady Rin." She motioned respectively at each of the three,in turn Kagome and her mother nodded at each "I hope you find your stay her comfortable, lady Higurashi, Kagome" now the lady said with finality as she set to leave.

"and you should be introduced to Izaiyou at her quarters later today .. then to my esteemed son, Lord Sesshomaru. Lady Kaede, be kind enough to introduce Kagome and lady Higurashi to our customs"

* * *

Now Kagome felt at loss, so many names and people that she knew nothing about, she doubted her mother was faring any better than her but Sure enough, her mother hid it well.

the fatigue of the journey caught up to her mother who asked to be shown to her room, however Kagome still felt inquisitive and thus decided to stay behind with Kaede, Sango and the other women in the room.

"I take it you are a little bit overwhelmed" Kaede spoke.

Kagome eyed the girl, she seemed quite young, gentle ... although her eyes were dim, wisdom beyond her years, sadness ... a mixture of both, maybe.

"I am Kaede of Shikon, our house is an ally of House Inutaisho."

"Shikon like .. Kikyo"

"Yes, we are sisters"

"Where is she?"

"Kikyo is hostage"

Kagome fell silent, those moments were ones that people know whatever they say will mean nothing.

"Nevermind, this is Sango of Taijiya House."

The other girl looked intimidating. She was lean and she had a certain hardness to her though much less pronounced than Lady Inutaisho's. She even had a fighter's stance.

"And I am Rin." the little girl smiled at her

"Hello, lady Rin"

"Kagome, we practically live together so you can't go around 'Lady'ing everyone you need to talk to, save lady Inutaisho of course and Rin in her presence" Kaede laughed "We go around on first name basis'

"Of course. Rin, where is your mother?"

"She is dead" Sango deadpanned this time before getting to her leave, sparing no backward glance towards anybody.

Kagome felt awful. this was the second time she said something ...blunt but in her defence how would she have known.

"It is fine, Kagome. You are at no faullt. Recently, this place has become much sadder than it used to be but hopefully this will change soon"

"I ... I hope you aren't upset Rin"

"Nevermind at all, Kagome-chan"

"I hope Sango isn't upset with me"

"Don't worry about her Sango is a kind girl. She will open up in time. Her brother, Kohaku, was also taken Hostage along with Kikyo during a skirmish with Naraku"

_'It seemed like that filthy monster is the catalyst behind everybody's pain'_ Kagome seethed

"Now get up, let me show you around the place"

* * *

She became fast friends with Kaede, Maybe her resemblance to Kikyo facilitated their bond and made Kaede more at ease with her, and honestly Kaede was kind and resourceful bu the looks of it and having someone like her in this strange foreign place was extreme help and a chance not to miss by.

She has shown her the whereabouts of lady Inutaisho's headquarters and a heavily guarded room she told her was off limits .. a prisoner was there.

"Lord Sesshomaru ordered she would be kept here instead of the dungeons under his mother's eyes and her guards. She seems important."

"You don't know who she is?"

"No, we aren't allowed in there."

She walked her through a garden towards a relatively quiet part of the massive estate

"This is where lady Izaiyou resides"

"And who is Lady Izaiyou?"

"Lord Inutaisho's concubine and mother to his second son, Inuyasha"

* * *

_He hates her with passion._

_That is what he told himself everytime she would come over to see him._

_He hated her tentative soothing touch whenever she would put whatever salve she made onto his burn._

_It made him nervous and while he had many scars that littered his body and none of them hurt him, none of his wounds hurt as much as those she tended to._

_A good sliver of his lateral neck was burnt, parts of his back and his hair was singed at the tips._

_He had a knife wound to his left flank and multiple scattered abrasions around his body._

_"Everything look good now, you might as well on your feet in a couple of days"_

_"I despise you" he made no effort to hide his hostility towards her, especially since his burn stung too much after her touch , testing her kindness to full limit._

_She simply smiled and left him to see this 'Inuyasha' of hers and while he guessed this Inuyasha could be connected to the Inutaisho clan, he couldn't quite figure out why it riled him up so much when she left to be with him._

"I see you aren't up to see your prisoner" He must have been so absorbed in thought that he didn't notice Kanna sneaking up on him, intruding on his solitude.

"What now? I have something more pressing to think about than you or the prisoner for what matters"

"Good to know that. Anyway, she slept without supper"

"There is nothing I can do about this, is there?"

"Thought you should know, goodnight"

While Kanna was young, she was certainly wile and perceptive, one of the very few who understood him so well for his own liking.

_'Kikyo, I hate you'_

* * *

Kaede told her all about the epic love story between Lady Izaiyou and the late lord Inutaisho.

Apparently, he fell in love with her, fought a war for her and finally granted her and her son legitmacy before he passed away, although she remained well below Lady Inutaisho's status

"Do you want to see her? Lady Izaiyou"

"I ... Is it normal to visit her out the blue without prior notice or anything. I thought we would see her before meeting Lord Sesshomaru at night"

"Izaiyou is much more lenient than Lady Inutaisho. You will see for yourself"

Kaede pulled her towards the door of her chamber, requesting the chaperone relay her a request to see her.

Lady Izaiyou received them with a kind smile. She was a frail sickly middle-aged woman, with warm brown eyes and tender expression, and while not prettier than Lady Inutaisho, she could understand what lord Inutaisho saw in Izaiyou; she had a measure of gentleness and sympathy evident in her manner.

They made their visit short and promised to come back another time.

Yet the moment they pulled th Shoji door open, Kagome stumbled upon a man walking straight into her as she was leaving out.

She hit a brick wall.

"Watch where you are going"

"Inuyasha, it was your fault, not hers"

"Stay out of it, Kaede"

Kagome breathed in then out, trying to muster all the vile in the world and focus it into one lethal look as she lifted her head up to his level.

The young man took a double step back

"Kikyo" he whispered

_'No, this can't be her'_

"No, Kagome" she corrected "and you should look where you are going, you aren't blind after all. Now let us pass, please."

"Kagome, is it?" he tried to recover fast "Well, in that case .. it is still you who should look and you should tae a step back so I would pass in then you should leave"

He stood his ground and she stood hers neither budging under the other's contempt.

_'loathsome cocky insensitive ...'_

"Now Inuyasha" Kaede said "Stop mucking over and let us pass"

"I won't"

"My son, please"

Izaiyou held his gaze for some seconds before he complied

"Huff .. fine, go on"

"Good boy" Kaede sassed and he went bright red after her comment yet she gave him no time to reply as she hurled herself and Kagome out of his sight.

"Nevermind Inuyasha. he is just like that" as they marched forward.

A good distance behind, she looked towards Izaiyou's chambers again, something about this brat interested her, maybe the way he looked at her when they faced each other for the first time.

_'Inuyasha' she thought 'let's hope this is the last I will hear from you'_

* * *

Kikyo lied in bed, eyes closed as he entered the room.

"I know you are awake"

He set a tray on the table, as he grabbed a chair to sit down his back to the bed.

"Know that I won't let you go"

_'I won't until either I die or rid myself of your haunting shadow'_

"until I get my prisoner for you"

"And Know that I will kill you if things don't go the way I plan, and that whatever you have done in the past will not deter me from this, I will kill Kaede if I have to and your precious Inuyasha for sure."

He hears the bed creak as her weight shifts upon it. She has probably sit up by now

"You are weak, a coward in his worst form .. such a desperate man you are, Naraku.

You come here, everyday against your will .. repeating the same things everytime and expecting me to be afraid, maybe? What are you trying to prove to yourself, to me? What is the object of your obsession exactly: Pure power... envy of Inuyasha?"

'_You .. the object of my obsession is you'_

"I am not weak, Kikyo. you haven't seen the extend of my strength yet."

"Then save your strength and don't come here, again."

"You hate me that much?"

"On the contrary, I feel nothing for you. nothing but pity and disrespect."

Naraku now stood up, turning around to face her before walking full speed at her and yanking her by the arm to her full height that she could level to him.

"I come here the time I want Kikyo. I do whatever I want" he hovered dangerously close to her, so close they could smell each other, his mad eyes searching hers for any sign of fear or malice .. yet whatever inside was defiance, pure defiance.

"Let go of my arm"

He let go of her arm as he walked away towards the door.

"Naraku" she called after him

"You come here to see me, right? Just to see me suffer, don't you?"

He doesn't reply. he closes the heavy door between them.

_'I only ever come here to feel alive, to see you'_

* * *

**The song at the beginning is a liberal translation of a Persian song.**


	3. Those nights that never end

_**Those nights that never end**_

Whatever Kagome heard about Lord Sesshomaru whether at home or during her journey was definitely an understatement.

He stood at the middle of his council: Tall, Regal. He instantly inspired reverence and respect in people who meet him. The man didn't demand attention, it spontaneously flew to him.

Despite that, he had a bit of hardness to him, a darkness even though well reigned could be unleashed anytime.

There was a difference, a stark difference between him and Inuyasha that was evident when they stood in proximity.

The hairline, the ears , almost their entire faces looked similar.

It was all in the eyes though.

Sesshomaru inherited his mother's eyes .. sharp, confident and resolute, hawkish but Inuyasha had his mother's soft eyes, pigeon eyes you could call them.

'_His arm' _Kagome's eyes widened as she realised, Lord Sesshomaru has lost an arm.

Their introduction was curt, He welcomed his guests and that is it. Soon enough they left.

The one thing Kagome couldn't shake off that evening was the smug look on Inuyasha's face as she knealt in Sesshomaru's presence.

* * *

"His arm? what happened to his arm?" Kagome asked Kaede as soon as they were dismissed.

"It had to be cut off, after a particularly nasty injury"

"During his battles with Naraku."

"No ... Long before. In fact, Lord Sesshomaru was on good terms with Naraku before he attacked Taijiya"

"That is why he is reluctant to start a war with him, to retrieve Kikyo and Kohaku?"

"In part … he wants to negotiate first "

"I thought Lord Sesshomaru was quite an inept fighter"

"Inept. That is an understatement." Sango now interjected "Even with a single arm, he is a formidable opponent. He has tactic and discipline .. masterclass warrior"

"His father conquered the east, he conquered the western lands. He used to fight and fight, conquest after another" Kaede continued "Infact he used to be insatiable but something in his heart changed"

"After his injury?"

"No, long after. When His father died, then his wife. He became more ... more lenient you could say, more patient. He still fights and he still wants to conquer the entire land but he now knows it needs more than just the brutality of the sword to win."

"And Inuyasha?" Kagome tried to sound casual, infact she really found it weird why her mind incessantly returned back to the idiot.

"A mighty warrior as well, stubborn and fierce but he lacks his brother's insight"

"They are so dissimilar, aren't they?"

"You can say that" Sango said "Until it comes to pride and arrogance, they are definitely more than similar in that category"

"Agreed" Kaede nodded.

"But they never clash together, do they?"

"Clash?!" Both Sango and Kaede laughed "Put them alone together in a room for more than ten minutes and they will tear each other apart"

"I thought they loved each other, after all they work together & the future of this kingdom depends on it"

"We don't know if they love each other or not. They are always antagonistic due to a lot of factors .. the rivalry between them, between both their mothers. It is complicated to say the least. But We trust them; they are good rulers. Besides, their mothers and themselves respect Lord Inutaisho's legacy. We all do so we doubt they would do anything stupid to destroy this legacy. They all know better than this."

"I hope so, Kaede. I hope they do."

* * *

It is the pale young Kanna who brings her the meals. This Kanna, Kikyo notes is younger than her, younger than Kaede even, yet there was something old in her gaze, something borderline cruel as though she witnessed more terror than one her age should do.

Naraku has stopped coming to see her and it was quite the relief. This girl is quiet .. suspicious and creepy yet anybody, absolutely anybody is better than him.

"I brought you your meal"

"Thank you."

The girl set the tray on the table, staring sharply at her.

"Do you know who am I, Lady Kikyo?"

"I know that your name is Kanna, that is as much as you told me"

The girl smiled at her .. a smile she couldn't decipher. Was it genuine? Was she mocking her?

"He has sisters you know, One captive and I am the other one."

Kikyo didn't know what to say.

"Riddle me this Kikyo, Why do you think he urged me to bring you your meals instead of himself? Why doesn't he let any maid or any guard deliver them in his stead, our stead?

You have a long time to figure out the answer. Meanwhile, You previously asked about your companion, the boy KohaKu. He is fine. I will try to see if a reunion between the both of you could be arranged perhaps"

* * *

"What brings you here, Lord Sesshomaru?" Her Voice is amused, straddling the line between a purr and a laugh.

Stoic.

Kagura rises from her chair, facing him, looking him eye to eye. Sesshomaru intrigues her. He is stone, as sturdy as a mountain but her eyes are fire and she is the wind, unpredictable, one moment gentle , the other a destructive force but all in all, the mountain challenges her and she must try to shake him with her might.

She is a head shorter than him, her hair is uncharacteristically short, shorter than any of the women in the Harem. There is a certain measure of slyness in her features, the sleekiness of a feline in how she moves.

Internally, Sesshomaru finds it both amusing and disturbing.

"Your brother gave no response, yet. He received our messenger, sent him back alive."

"And what do I have to do with this?"

"You know your brother best. What do you think he means?"

"He means well" she replied non-chalantly.

"Fine"

Sesshomaru doesn't press for answers. She figures out this is how he functions, very little words, no gestures at all.

And, she wasn't used to that.

Kagura prided herself in her ability to get a rise out of anyone. But upto this point, Sesshomaru gives no impressions at all.

She tries to take a step towards him, extend her hands a little, crane her neck .. her gaze softens a considerable deal.

He takes a step back, his expression as unreadable as ever.

He turns to the door

"What was she like? Your late wife."

He doesn't stop. he keeps walking, steadily towards the door.

"He will never give back,Kikyo" She speaks.

He turns his head to her, the corners of his mouth almost tilts and she doesn't know if it is victory, amusement or gloat., but he stops anyway and she considers this a small victory.

"Kohaku, maybe. but Kikyo. I don't know. It is complicated. It would be easier to let him forsake his soul, his own heart rather than Kikyo. In fact, he might just Kill her if he senses he will lose her to you or Inuyasha"

He murmurs something that sounds like "Petty or Pity" she can't make it out.

"Not even for you" he resumes.

"Naraku isn't very fond of me"

"I see"

He now keeps walking towards the door.

"you haven't answered my question yet"

He doesn't stop this time, not until he is out ofthe prisoner's room

'_Sara Asano was nothing like you'_

* * *

Kagome wakes up to the sound of clashing swords and the sounds of a shouting man shaking the walls of the entire Harem around.

She rushes outside to the main Hall, it is a commotion out there. Kaede & Sango stare at her pointedly from across. Miroku tries to disband the staring women . It is Inuyasha who is shouting at Lord Sesshomaru. He is shaking and tumbling around unsteadily, sword in Hand.

His other hand was bleeding.

Kagome doesn't know if he is inebriated or merely angry.

"Hear me, Sesshomaru. We will mobillise our troops to fetch Kikyo whether you like it or not"

Lord sesshomaru doesn't answer him. he smiles instead wrily at him.

"You listen to me, Pompous fool. These negotiations you are going through, these fool's play, shove them down your throat. I will take no more of them"

"That is why you are a disappointment, Inuyasha. You let your heart get the best of you in all the wrong ways"

"At least, I have a heart. Do i need to remind you of all the arocities you have done before you decided to wear the sheep's skin, Sesshomaru? Do I? Your father in law's kingdom? Drop the pacifist act and the 'unnecessary bloodshed speech'. I know better than that."

Miroku decided it is time to to step between both brothers before it escalates furthermore. Sesshomaru was already starting to entertain Inuyasha and speak back and that isn't a good sign.

"Or perhaps, you are starting to like the prisoner. I hear you take quite the nightly excursions to her room."

"Enough" Lady Inutaisho entered. The scene before her was a mess, and anger was evident in her eyes.

"Sesshomaru, Follow me, now"

Lord Sesshomaru's eyes travelled between his mother and Inuyasha.

"Please, sir" Miroku pleaded ..

He was starting to move at last behind his mother

"Follow your mother like the lost puppy you .." and before he could finish, Lady Izaiyou's hand struck him across his face.

The woman was panting whether it was fraility or anger, one couldn't know and momentarily all the anger in Inuyasha's eyes morphed to shock then realisation.

"Apologise, now"

"I ..."  
"And put down this sword. You don't deserve to hold it."

"Mother"  
"You father ordered this sword be forged to you to protect this house , those lands.. everybody in them. Me, Lady Inutaisho and your brother not to use it against us"

The woman was now coughing. It was obvious that she needed to go back to her room.

"I am sorry, Mother. I truly am"

"Lady Izaiyou should return to her Chamber" Lady Inutaisho instructed "Miroku .. See to that"

"Sango, a hand please" He smiled innocently

There was no escape.

"And you, go clean your wounds" she sniggered towards Inuyasha.

Lord Sesshomaru tried to flee the entire scene now that it seemed sorted but he couldn't.

"Follow me, I said"

_'So, Inuyasha is in love with Kikyo' Kagome mused._

* * *

Kagome could hear a slew of expletives as she & Kaede followed Inuyasha outside.

"You shouldn't have done that" Kaede admonished

"Shut up, Kaede"

"Your hand is bleeding, let me see" Kagome offered up her hand to him

His eyes widened and a myriad of feelings flew across his face: Anger, annoyment then curiosity

"I don'.."

Kaede yanked his hand as he yelled "Ouch.."  
"It will need stitching" Kagome and Kaede agreed.

* * *

"How could it be that you got involved in a fight with that idiot? And here of all places, at midnight of all time" Lady Inutaisho fumed "What are you, children?!"

"He was the one who crossed my way. I only came here to see you and Rin"

"Crossed your way?! Sesshomaru, you weren't even close to my chambers or Rin's. In fact, you were coming out of the prisoner's room, weren't you? Is it true?! is it true what the idiot said? Huh"

"Mother .."

"Listen to me. You are a grown up man, I understand. I tried to pair you up with lady Kikyo but both of you weren't interested. That's fine. but don't get yourself involved with the prisoner. It is deep trouble. "

"I can't believe you have given Inuyasha's words any weight"

"I haven't. but I know you well as I knew your father well."

* * *

He kept eyeing her warily the entire time as she and Kaede stitched his wounds

"I resemble her too much?"

"Hardly"

Kaede made sure to press a little bit more on his palm.

He hissed.

"So, he managed to wound you even with a single arm." Kaede teased

"It wasn't him"

"This isn't bringing her Back, Inuyasha"

"Kaede .."

"Inuyasha, Fighting among ourselves will not bring her back. Sesshomaru is trying, you know"

"And he is failing."

"You can't assume that just yet."

"What if he hurts her, Kaede? what if he does?"

"And what if he do? What if he do once he hears we are moving against him? you never considered that, did you?"

"We have a hostage"

"Inuyasha, whomever we have .. it is something bigger and much more complicated than mere hostages. That aside, your mother, you made her sad"

Inuyasha averted his eyes, one of the few things that could put him in place was his mother

"I will talk to her, later."

"No, you should talk to her tonight. she won't be able to sleep otherwise. and you should thank Kagome, you know" Kaede instructed

"I didn't ask for her help"

"You are such a jerk" Kagome haughtily responded

He simply laughed at her as she narrowed her eyes.

"We have to need to make sure Sango is fine."

"You left her with Miroku, he must have bitten her ear off" He incredulously said

* * *

Nobody could go to sleep afterwards.

Sango was deep in thought, Kagome was trying to make sense of all that is been going around her and Kaede was simply sad.

"So, he is in love with Kikyo. isn't he?" Kagome started

"It is a very weird relationship between them, but you can say that" Kaede replied

"And ..."

"And ..."

"I am sick of all this" Sango said in deceptive calm, Kagome could sense an outburst coming "I am sick of sitting there doing nothing at all and just waiting .. I ... Maybe Inuyasha was right"

"Sango, don't you trust Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked her

"It isn't about trust Kagome, although Inuyasha is more candid than Sesshomaru, at least to me. It is about worry and sadness and fear. This monster, what is he doing to them? I feel like I am dying every moment of the day. I am suffocated"

She closed her eyes in resignation

"And worst, I am scared, scared of getting used to this, to him being away. I am scared a day would drag a day, a month would drag another, years would pass by and then we become strangers. I am scared he would think I have given up on him."

"It won't come to this, hopefully it won't" Kagome tried to console, she might have lost her home but at least she had her family.

Kaede was silent, thinking about what Sango saud, how true it was. But She knew better. She carried the weight of the entire story so She knew it is much worse than simple political ploys. They were dealing with a madman, one they should approach in caution, otherwise, disaster might fall upon them all.

* * *

There is a heavy door between them, after all he is leaning on one of its sides.

_'How strange what has become of this heart_

_I don't wait for my beloved, nor does she wait for me_

_Longing above longing that heaves and hopeless nights that linger_

_Dawn, Hasten up .. Day don't go_

_I don't want another night to wear me off'_

He hums, to himself ...and if he was courageous enough, he would say, his old self is secretly singing to her. Ever since the night they clashed, he forbade himself from seeing her, but she still plagued him, the feel of her hand in his, her scent, it lingered within his soul ...

Her eyes, staring at him with all the anger, all the disappointment in the world.

He could see his lifetime reflected in her eyes.

He shakes his head as to rid himself of those thoughts, of her.

"One day, Kikyo .. I will be free of you and the worst part is: I never want this day to come. The kindness you showed me, was the first gesture of clemency someone had shown me in a very long time. I am sorry you had to show it to such a dead man. Years before, I might have been better, more suitable to claim you fair and clean. But now, I don't even know what I am doing with you, to you or to myself" he finally sighed

He gets up, after all the night wears him down and he wears the night ... it is another sleepless night for him and unbeknowst to him, sleepless for a whole lot of other people whom he hurt, who seek to hurt him back.

It is another sleepless night for the girl listening on the opposite side of the door.


	4. The beginning of existence

_**The beginning of existence**_

_"Beauty measures as much as one's mind can comprehend, then as much as comprehension translates to affection ... influence over one's sensibility and finally as much as the affection .. the influence can permenantly last, carving itself in one's soul. And so respectively ,there is beauty that one simply approves of, beauty that one loves & admires and beauty that one's soul obsesses over, driving them to insanity and beyond"* _

Naraku mused as he sat by the Shouji door overlooking the gardens. He left it slightly ajar so he could see the sky outside.

His eyes travelled between the moon and the prisoner huddled in a futon in his room.

He eclipsed most of the moonlight but somehow, a bundle of light could still seep through, partially illuminating her face and she looked angelic, mesmerising to say the least. However, he had to turn his gaze away from her, he wasn't giving her that effect over him, not anymore ...

_"Kikyo Has Fallen" Kanna barged in "She has plummeted to the ground"_

_He was transfixed ... everything stopped to make sense , it took him a moment to pull everything together again_.

_He should run to her, he knows that .. this is what his heart .. no .. his entire being wants him to do._

_But He is good at holding back. _

_"Call onto the castle's healer .. and tell him to come to her prison cell, immediately"_

_He makes his way to her cell, his pace getting faster every footstep he takes_

_He hoped she is simply faking it, a ploy to get out of there ...but no, this isn't Kikyo, Kikyo doesn't think this way, doesn't lower herself to this, she doesn't know how to swallow a speckle of her pride_ ... _then it is worse, she is really ill and .. He doesn't want to think what does it mean._

_There was vomitus on the floor, and her clothes were spoilt with various all kinds of body fluids ... her hair clung to her forehead ... she was perspirating and everything smelled terrible._

_He didn't care._

_He carried her to his room. and informed his guard to instruct Kanna and the healer to make a detour._

_It ended up being a mixture of undernutrition, fatigue and as Kanna phrased it: Other circumstantial conditions._

_"You will need to leave until we help her clean up and change"_

_Kanna made sure Kikyo was well tended to, providing assisstance and clothes_

_"Feeling better?"_

_"I feel like sleeping"_

_"He wants to know if you will eat anything"_

_Kikyo shuddered at the mention of food_

_"I can't stand anything in my stomach right now."_

_And so he let her sleep, peaking through every once in a while, Kikyo was whimpering, She was in pain and he knew better to stay away._

She was starting to wake up, he felt.

Kikyo slowly opened her eyes .. it was dark, night has come and now that she felt better, she started to work through what happened the entire day, this room she has been transfered to..

"You are finally awake"

She tried to sit up, but she felt dizzy, she almost gave out again

"Steady"

He moved stealthly, sitting behind her so she doesn't fall back.

"There is water beside you. Can you reach out to grab it without spillling it down?"

She tried, she grabbed the water and held onto it but she realised her hands weren't steady enough, it nearly slipped.

"Here" his hand extended to support the base of the cup she held, moving along as her hands moved, until finally she could bring the brim of the cup to her lips.

Their position was awkward, with her leaning on him and he supporting her in an embrace ... not in his wildest fantasies did he imagine them like that, her head onto his chest; his almost leaning on her shoulder,he could almost bow his head to whisper into her ears.

Lovers' embrace

And He realised, he doesn't want to move.

She must have realised so as well, because she was starting to fidget .. and he almost laughed at himself, what an idiot he was just to think she would let him live the end of his fantasy ..

"Easy"

They put down the cup, then he started to move slowly, giving her room to gradually lay back.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I don't want to .."

"I wasn't asking your opinion, Kikyo. You will eat whether you like it or not ... In short, Kikyo, I will not let you starve yourself to death. Nobody kills you but me."

* * *

He settled on soup.

Kikyo crawled her way to the nearest support, determined not to let him hold her again like that.

"Eat or I will spoon feed you the soup"

The entire scene was pure irony to both their faces. It was almost intimate.

"Pretend it is Inuyasha you are sitting with .. it might make it a little more palatable, a little more appealing."

Kikyo didn't know if he was mocking her or speaking sincerely.

She slowly drank her soup, staring intently at the man before her, a lean man who lets his hair down probably to cover the burn marks on his neck .. a handsome man who has a softness to his face that doesn't match the callousness of his soul. Yes, softness .. not reverence like Sesshomaru, nor jubilance like Inuyasha.

"What?" he raised his brow, amusement evident on his face

He puzzles her, she wants to say ... she heard him pining from behind the door a few nights ago and ...

She loathes him but she wants to understand.

_'He is manipulating me' _she thinks but still ... she wants to be sure.

"What is it that you are after, Naraku?"

"That is it then, the reason you have been staring at me like you want to undo me"

"You didn't answer the question."  
"Power, Kikyo. I am only ever after power and territory."

"And where do I stand in this plan of yours to obtain power and territory? What is my value in your game?"

"You are an expensive hostage"

He intended to offend her. But for once she didn't seem convinced of his utter hatred of her. Instead, she stared him in the eyes searching them thoroughly for ... everything.

Then she laughed

"Of course, I am."

She put down her empty bowl. This night, this conversation had to end here.

She was feeling drowsy anyway. Her eyes were drooping.

"You should get back to sleep"

"I ..."

She crawls back to the futon and closes her eyes. She doesn't feel safe nor does she feel comfortable in his presence .. but she couldn't fight sleep anymore.

He stays until she sleeps. He knows she doesn't want him to but it is the incessant part in him that wants to prove his power, his control over his heart ... this part that strives to prove she means nothing to him keeps him in there or that is the lie he tells himself .. the lie that covers up for his hopelessness.

* * *

Everybody expected her to behave like Kikyo and she hated it.

Because she was Kagome, not Kikyo.

She hated how Kikyo's name was on the tip of everybody's tongue once they see her, she hated the whispers ... the looks ...and mostly she hated how the stupid Inuyasha wouldn't look at her.

Sesshomaru decided to keep the idiot busy, meaning he was in charge of showing her around the capital and now she was stuck with the pathetic man and his perverted companion as they rode around town.

Miroku, she learnt, had a thing for Sango and Sango being her classical brooding self wanted nothing to do with him until Kohaku is back and he proves that he has changed.

And honestly, nobody could blame her. Miroku, despite his exceptional rationale and his courage, was a hopeless case of ladies' man. He couldn't pass a female by without harrassing her and at this rate, they wouldn't last one day before Sango kills him and deposes of the body.

Inuyasha doesn't speak to her and she should be content but ...

"So, You avoid looking at me because I resemble her, right?"

Inuyasha feigns surprise

"What are you talking about?"

"You .. I am talking about you and why you purposely avoid looking at me as we speak"

"It is propiety"

"No, Inuyasha. In your case it isn't. Plus, you are the friend of Miroku san and that speaks volumes"

She indignantly strode past him, causing him to mutter something _about 'Annoying, temperamental'_

"I like her"

"Huh?"

"Kagome-chan, I like her .. she is interesting. She isn't too serious for her own good like Kikyo"

* * *

Kaede is the most sympathetic.

She is the only one who doesn't see her as a pale imitation of Kikyo. Early on, the resemblence might have facilitated their friendship but later Kaede drew the line. This was Kagome, not Kikyo.

It may have helped that she knew Kikyo better than anyone.

"You share some qualities together. But that is the case for most people. She has empathy as her most prominent trait but for you .. it is loyalty."

* * *

The room was bleak.

Now that daylight is shining through the Shouji she could see the room well.

He just keeps a futon and the rest of the room is empty. She doubted it was due to personal taste rather than lack of resources.

Naraku

Kikyo was still trying to dismantle him, He wasn't a simple man who wears his heart on his sleeve like Inuyasha nor was he simply guarded like Sesshomaru. This man was damaged.

He has been damaged for a very long time, even before they first met and ...

Kanna came in.

"Breakfast"

"Thank you"

Before she could leave Kikyo decided to try something

"Kanna, please stay. I need to talk to you"

"What is it that you want to talk about?"

"Your brother."

* * *

_*Translated quote written by Elrafie _


	5. Cycle

_**Cycle**_

It was a warm day.

Izaiyou leant onto her son as they walked together in the sunlight, her arm in had made up with her after the ominous night, admitting his rashness and wrongdoing. Izaiyou only stroke his head and told him to muster himself better for she had taught him better than that.

"I am glad you feel better, It has been a long time since you have been out of your room, mother."

Kaede, Kagome and Sango waved from a far and she waved back

"I know, Inuyasha. I haven't been on a proper outing since I have fallen ill. But I felt like it today." She smiled

"Kikyo? No news about her."

All the signs of cheerfulness were drained out of his features, replaced by guilt and anger instead

"The bastard .. He didn't reply to our messenger."

"I pity the poor the girl .. I really do"

Inuyasha was confused. Kikyo wasn't Izaiyou's most favourite person, whatever Kikyo tried to win her favour.

Izaiyou thought she was too stiff for him .. and the fact lady Inutaisho wanted to desparately marry her off to Sesshomaru made his mother reserved about their engagment all together.

She feared it would further rift the brothers.

"You aren't happy she is gone?!"

"Are you out of your mind? Of course not, Inuyasha. Kikyo is like a daughter of this house. How could it be that I would think like that?"

" I thought ..."

"Kikyo is a brilliant, kind young woman. She is the making of a great ruler, a great consort"

"You didn't seem excited about the notion of us together."

"And I still have my doubts, but that is something and this is an entirely different thing."

Izaiyou was a captive herself, at one point in her life. she knew the fear, the darkness and danger of such misfortune. She knew the defeat, the humiliation in captivity.

The tides, they have been kind to her. She has met Lord Inutaisho .. a great man whom she had fallen in love with .. but others ...

_'Heinous'_

And maybe that is why she adviced lord Sesshomaru to show kindness to their captive against Inuyasha's skeptism.

"So how is our new guest?" Izaiyou glanced across to Kagome "I heard you two can't stop bickering everytime you meet each other."

"She is intolerable ... since Kaede told her about my silly childhood love of dogs and everytime she sees me she goes '_Sit boy' _" Inuyasha mimicked in an unnaturally sharp quip.

"As far as I remember, Inuyasha .. you wanted to be a dog, to the point where you would bark and cry that you had no tail to wiggle" Izaiyou laughed

He lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Point is she wouldn't let me off the hook ever since"

"I like her."

"Huh"

"Kagome ... I like her. She is a kind girl and you seem to have taken a liking to her too." Izaiyou said

Inuyasha didn't respond

"Inuyasha?"

Kagome ... He came to realise wasn't a Replica of Kikyo, She was much more. She truely was kind , and courageous like Kikyo. She was strong as well, not quite the same type of strength as Kikyo but a distinctive, different kind of strength.

Understanding, Kagome could understand people's motives better than Kikyo.

And Trust, Kagome trusted him completely, to the fullest extend despite constantly feigning otherwise, and Nobody ever trusted him the way she does.

"Inuyasha, Let's go back to my room. I am starting to feel tired"

* * *

"You Asked about my brother, it is his story to tell, not mine"

"But .."

"Kikyo, all I can tell you is that Naraku, as he calls himself now isn't a balanced person. and he is as equally dangerous when he loves and when he loathes. In fact, I doubt he even knows the distinction .. We all lost hope in him, Kagura the most, she is fed up with all of this and me as well. So know this, don't try ... you will hurt yourself in the process and you will mess him up even more. The last time you tried led you to this."

"All I have ever done was to help an injured person."

"Will you do it again? if the time turns back, will you?"

Kikyo didn't answer. Truth is she herself didn't know the answer.

"I thought so as well" Kanna smiled apologetically

That was all he needed to listen to from behind the shadows.

* * *

She has been asking to see him, incessantly ... to the point where his mother had to intefere.

Lady Inutaisho had to tell 'The prisoner' that the 'lord of the castle' is busy and that it isn't befitting he should have contact with her under any circumstances and thus should stop 'nagging' to see him.

"Why do you want to see him, anyway?"

"I ... I am bored, I want to get out on a walk"

Lady Inutaisho heavily scrutinised her .. she wasn't lying but she wasn't entirely honest either.

"We are keeping you here, incognito, under such tight guardianship because everyone here might try to take you down, literally."

"I..."

"And you know you should be locked down in a prisoner's cell, not an ordinary room as the one you occupy."

"Yes"

"Then Be thankful, Kagura."

Kagura turned her head, everything the old lady had said was true.

"I admire your willfullness but for the time ... know your place"

"I will indeed"

_'Does he not think of me at all?'_

* * *

He used to dream of her, when she was tending to him in Shikon .. when he was a runaway fugitive.

In those dreams, she would kill him a thousand times, suffocate him, drown him and sometimes she would touch his heart and he would simply disintegrate ... become one with the ashes that scatter around her. She would whisper and he would become speechless, she would hold him and he would become powerless against her will.

Kikyo did the one thing he never wanted anybody to do to him,

Kikyo gave him hope, She gave him something to want more than life itself.

Her affections.

For the first and probably the last time in his life, he wanted her to love him, to wait for him the same way she would wait for Inuyasha to come. He wanted that sparkle in her eyes, that yearning to be for him.

But that was a long time ago ...

He thought he made his peace with it ... This will never be. Kikyo is too good for him, too in love with Inuyasha to think of anybody else.

And he wanted Power and only power.

So why does he still dream?

It had to end, this game of captive and captor had to, before rebound effect starts to sneak their way into his heart.

_'As if it was ever empty'_ a voice inside of him mocked.

He will send a messenger to lord Sesshomaru.

* * *

Izaiyou summoned Kaede and Kagome to the now rested in bed. Dismissing everyone but the both of them and Inuyasha from the room.

"So?" He asked

"So?"

"You still want to talk to me about that incident"

"No, Inuyasha ... I want you to make me a promise. I want Kagome and Kaede to witness"

"About what?"

"Promise me, you will never fight with your brother over the me you will never tear this kingdom apart, whatsoever."

Kaede and Kagome looked at each other, this conversation was getting odd.

"Why do you think I will ever do that? Mother, you know better than anyone I have no interest at all in this."

"I know .. but still, time can change and the temptation .. it never ceases. We have seen multiple kingdoms, centuries old houses destroyed over this." Izaiyou closed her eyes as though chasing some old ghosts from her past "My homeland was destroyed in one such dispute"

Inuyasha seemed to think it over, truly he had no intention nor interest in ruling ... but sometimes he just hates what Sesshomaru does .. sometimes he feels he could do better .. sometimes he yearns to feel as appreciated and as revered as Sesshomaru, Lord inutaisho's firstborn son , scioned with a lady from one of the most respected houses, not a second rate son, some half breed scioned with a concubine, a spare , a demoted son.

"Inuyasha?"  
"Huh"

"Where did your mind stray?"

He hesitated to tell her, partly because of how disappointed she might be, partly because she was ill and he didn't want her to worry about such things.

"You know on his death bed, Lord inutaisho had me and Lady Inutaisho swear to never break this kingdom apart. He made me promise not to feed you ill about your brother and made her promise never to try to turn your brother against you or never to try to remove you. In short, he told us to keep the best of this house, the best of this kingdom at heart before we do anything. So far, she has kept her part of the deal and I want to keep mine as well, now that I am alive and even after I die. Will you help me do this, Inuyasha?"

"I want to mother, I want but I am afraid I will break this promise. I am afraid ..."

"I promise you, Lady Izaiyou." Kagome's voice resonated

"I promise you I will do whatever it takes to prevent him from doing anything to harm this kingdom. I promise you I will save him from any dark thought that might cross his mind in this perspective or any other" She repeated in a clear assured voice

Lady Izaiyou marvelled at the young girl and her confidence. Kagome was burdening herself with that just to ease her, to help her and such good intention really touched her heart.

Kagome's decree prompted Inuyasha to proceed with his promise

"I promise you mother. I promise you I will never fight Sesshomaru's reign, not that he will give any chance to begin with"

"I thank you Kagome, with all my heart. And I trust you will do your best to fulfill your promises, both of you" Izaiyou smiled.

* * *

"You have over stayed your welcome"

Naraku's voice was flat, empty and that would probably end up in a mess.

Kikyo has started learning the telltales.

His voice is quiet, calm when he is ... when he isn't his usual sinister self ... barely above a whisper and expressive but that flat out tone, the tightness means he is taking out something on her and avoiding him would be the most safe and most sane choice that could be

But Kikyo isn't playing safe, not anymore.

"As far as I remember I amnot here by choice"

"Well, in that you speak the truth. You will retun to your prison today"

"A good decision indeed"

"And I am sending a messenger to Sesshomaru ... it is about time we start negotiating the terms of both your and Kohaku's release. Pray tell me Kikyo , what do you think your price would be?" He burst out in laughter, such a provocative sound he made.

Kikyo wouldn't take his bait.

"How would you price me, Naraku? I mean, obviously you want more than your prisoner in exchange of me and Kohaku ... but, What if they wouldn't pay? Will you kill me, keep locked up here forever or 'sell' me to another warring faction for perhaps another price? I heard Rasetsu would pay a hefty sum."

Colour was drained out of his face

"Perhaps you never considered that, or you didn't want to consider it. Naraku, in truth, you still are very hesitant about what you want to do with me, about the price as you boast it to be"

He paused .. she is really starting to understant, to get a grip on this game of his , in which he is both player and opponent.

"I will rid myself of you, that is for sure. and I will make Inuyasha suffer"

"Go on, rid yourself of me ... release me of this sick cycle you have formed around me. Isn't it true? This fixation on me and Inuyasha you have goes beyond your game of power."

It takes every ounce of control in his body not to pounce on her and tear her apart this instant.

She looks at him, really looks at him within this neverending ode of anger and she can't help but see a man trapped within his own mind, his own demons.

"I doubt you will rid yourself of me Naraku, anytime soon. But at least, for the time being, until your negotiations are over with, stop menacing .. stop trying to get onto my nerves and yours in the process. It willnot work anymore."

He looks as well, intently and marvels at her strength. How she makes him enticed and vulnerable and enraged all at the very same instant. How she effortlessly disarms him.

He moves towards her .. and on account of self preservation, she thinks about moving one step back.

In the end she doesn't.

She expects some sort of violent retaliation, it doesn't come. Instead he just keeps staring .. like he used to when she nursed him back to health .. a silhouette seeping from the corner of his eyes, what remains though is something she is unable to comprehend .. what remains is wistfulness and blue and ... he almost bows down, almost leans in ...

Kikyo refuses to think beyond that.

"I think it is time I leave back to my cell"

He wants to take it back all of it but he is unable to voice this out .. so he just moves .. he walks away from her and succumbs to his own demons elsewhere ... afterall none of the women he has in his castle would say 'no' to him.

But he fails miserably even at that.

Kikyo doesn't leave his thoughts.

* * *

"I wanted to thank you"

"You don't have to. I like Lady Izaiyou and would do anything to make her happy." Kagome smiled cheerfully.

"I .. but you don't know the weight of this promise you made, not that anyone expects you to do good on i.."

"You do realise I am an adult, Inuyasha? and you do realise I am sane as well? I intend to do good on my promise, whatever it takes."

"You don't have the means to."

"Not now, perhaps. but I intend to win your favour .. all of you"

Inuyasha eyes her with a mixture of amusement and appreciation, a look he only ever reserved for his mother.

But then, he feels part of his heart fluttering then dimming ... Kagome is starting to matter and this is the beginning of a royal mess.

"You hesitated? In there, when your mother asked you, you hesitated, Why Inuyasha? On my part, I don't think it is greed that held you back from vowing to your mother"

"I .. it is an inferiority complex I am trying to overcome" He paused for a second before resuming "All my life I could feel them talking behind my back. A half breed, they said. Whatever I did, Wheneve I excelled, they would just say that and .. most of the time, it doesn't matter but on a few occasions, you want to prove your worth. I am getting past that now."

Kagome was surprised at the admission. Inuyasha, he had his baggage like any other one of them and he trusted her enough to tell her.

She had more means than expected to keep her promise.

Kaede was watching the pair from afar, along with Sango. There was a friendship blooming and they would have to wait to see how would it turn out.

* * *

"I heard you have been making a fuss to see me. what is it that you want from me?"

Kagura smiled, He came at last and that would mean something, wouldn't it?

But it is hard to decide when it is Sesshomaru you are talking about.

He knew that for the time, she had nothing say. But, he wanted to spare himself the trouble or so he told himself, not that she intrigued him nor that he considered visiting a couple of days ago.

"I am sick of this, I want to get out just for a little while, a walk perhaps."

"So that is all what you wanted to tell me, isn't it? This entire fuss about that"

She didn't respond

"I will see if it can be arranged"

He didn't add a word on that ... he simply walked away

"I wanted to see" She said

Sesshomaru doesn't stop, he keeps walking.

"And you still owe me an answer" she proceeded

Sesshomaru only closes his eyes and stops after he is a safe distance away from her room. only when he is at Rin's does he feel like smiling at the entire peculiar account.

"Why are you smiling, Otou-sama?"

"It is nothing, Rin. Nothing at all"

Young Rin smiles back. She doesn't believe her Father, not a single bit.

* * *

**So, how is this story going so far?**


	6. Apologies that don't really matter

_**Apologies that don't really matter.**_

Lady Inutaisho is never startled.

She comes from a long line of warriors, generals and rulers of might ... so she has been raised

"Never back down, Never cower"

It might have served her well as consort, as guardian ... but not as wife.

She could never soften to him, there was always a crunch between them despite having loved him so much; Their marriage political as it was deemed wasn't enyirely soulless.

Lord Inutaisho was princely in all context of the word, Courageous, kind , handsome yet somehow ...

Did he love her back?

It is a question that will always linger unanswered in her mind, she mused as she looked down on her withering riv ... no she wasn't even close, Izaiyou was never a match for her ..

'Such muddled thoughts'

Izaiyou opened her eyes, she was the one who requested to meet the lady Inutaisho after all.

"I am sorry"

It was a peculiar starter .. What exactly was she apologising for?

"It has been years" Izaiyou resumed "I have never stopped feeling that nag of guilt .. I never intended to take him, I swear. I just fell in love with him."

"I don't dwell on something as old as this" Lady Inutaisho replied, every inch the proud woman.

Izaiyou pointedly stared at her, eyes refuting every word she has just said

'No, you think about it, everyday. You have never stopped'

"Maybe you don't, Lady Inutaisho, but I do. Everyday I do. However, If it would be of any reprieve, I only ever had a piece, as much as a concubine could have, I never had him a whole .. I could never call him mine and nobody could pry you away from this special place he had for you"

Lady Inutaisho was silent .. what was she supposed to say to the frail woman in front of her? That part of her could never stop loathing her or that part of her will never stop envying her for the place she had in inutaisho's heart. Inutaisho loved her, she knows but he loved her with his mind, that sort of logical love that while stable and steady and harmless still lacked something, still lacked a spark, while he loved Izaiyou with his heart, this passion and burning affection that she never never knew in her life.

In truth, there was nothing she could say.

"I don't expect you to forgive me but at least I could say I have tried to make amends"

"After all this time, it doesn't change anything .. even earlier it wouldn't have. He made his choice, I made mine. I stayed, I stayed for the merits, mine and my son's and as much pain that I had to endure, It was worth it. I stayed because part of me wanted to."

"All that I ask of you now, noble lady Inutaisho is to not take it on my son. I know you aren't fond of him but you are wise enough not to turn Lord Sesshomaru against him."

"I don't scorn your son. I maynot love him yes but I don't hate him. I value his courage and valour. In addition he does carry the Inutaisho blood within his veins so it counts for something. But I can't promiise you that either me or Sesshomaru can tolerate him if e ever tries to break the kingdom apart"

"He won't do. Just don't give him reason to ... please"

* * *

"His name was Kagewaki, Hitomi Kagewaki"  
"What?"  
"You asked me to tell you about him, & I said no. On second thought, I decided to concede" Kanna shrugged as she sat opposite to the prisoner.

'What for?"

"Maybe, you could save him an by extension yourself and all of us from his madness"

Kikyo didn't think he had any salvagable part in him.

"You met him years ago, while on the run, while trying to gather an army ... he wanted to reclaim this lands from Rasetsu"

"I do remember a war occuring here more or less. But the house that ruled .. I didn't know they had a second son other than the sickly dead prince."

"He was the son of a concubine. he had never been legitimised"

_'Like Inuyasha' Kikyo thought 'Except Inuyasha is legitimate'_

"He wasn't treated well. He was scorned and ridiculed .. he had no prospects back then. However when disaster striked, he played the situation well."

"You and Kagura, you are legitmates? and your brother, He did die of disease, right?"

"You caught on that rumour, didn't you?" Kanna smiled "Kagura is legitmate, I amnot. she is our half sister and while we had a good relationship with each other, she always had a strained one with Naraku. Our brother died of illness. he hadn't murdered him as people speculate, but he didn't spare our father when Rasetsu captured him. Partly because he couldn't and partly because he didn't want to"

"And where do I stand in this story? Who am I in it?"

"You are the one who reminds him that he still has a heart. I know you must suspect something by now. You aren't dumb, Kikyo."

"Your brother is trying to manipulate me and I wouldn't rule out that you are helping him"

"You can say that all you want but you know it isn't true" Kanna stood to her leave.

* * *

He sent a messenger.

Sesshomaru summoned him and Miroko as soon as said messenger arrived..

"He would release Kohaku for Kagura" Sesshomaru announced

"And Kikyo?"

"He wants to negotiate her release one on one"

Inuyasha stared blankly at him

"While we exchange prisoners. He wants to negotiate while we do."

"And are you going to accept this?"

"If it were up to me solely ,I would .. but this isn't up to me alone. Mother will find out how Kaede and Sango feel about it then she would tell me. Accordingly your opinion along with theirs will either move this forward or not"

"Did he mention anything else in his message?" Inuyasha asked in a strained voice

"In tactical sense, he wants to meet in the wolves territory .. not a bad choice, considering Koga is more inclined to us than him. I don't think he is doing us a favour though, he chose this place because it is far away from Rasetsu whom he wants to avoid."

* * *

After his meeting with Sesshomaru, Inuyasha didn't know what to do.

For some reason the bastard wants to hold on her so much ... it puzzles and scares Inuyasha.

But there was also something else tugging at him, something he would rather ignore ... something is going limb inside of him towards the whole ordeal, a feeling growing inside of him that Kikyo will never be back.

And worse, he doesn't feel as angry about it as he used to.

_'You are a spineless fool. Kikyo, I am sorry'_

* * *

"I don't want to go back"

It was midnight, She was walking in the gardens under his watchful eyes and Miroko .. for the record he could find no one else to appoint as chaperone on those nightly excursions except the infamous lecher.

The admission however took him by surprise. Never had Kagura looked that vulnerable even when she fell in captivity.

"Why so? I thought you would be happy that you will be free at last"

"I told you before, I amnot his most favourite person. He will probably sell me off to one of his generals, someone he wants to make an alliance with ..."

Sesshomaru didn't know what to say

"It deters nothing, does it?, what I want"

He almost looked apologetic, almost.

"They deserve to be back. I have to ensure this as master and commander of this palace, as ruler of those lands"

"Of course"

A long pause passed between them before she finally said

"It is cold, I want to get in"

"As you wish, Miroko will walk you back"

He gestured for him and so Miroko understood

It was time for her to return to her quarters.

Sesshomaru looked him pointedly in the eye

_'Off Limits'_

Miroko took the cue. After all nobody wants to be on the bad side of Sesshomaru or Sango for what matters but admittedly Kagura wasn't very bad to look at.

* * *

Sadly, lady Izaiyou doesn't last the week.


	7. As Lonely as a solitary tree

_**As Lonely as a solitary tree**_

Something was different after Lady Izaiyou's passing, it wasn't overtly manifest nor did anybody spoke about it, but it was just palpable.

Lady Inutaisho seemed ... lost. Strange as it sounds, Kagome and Kaede felt it. All those years, all the displaced and mixed feelings suddenly lost their centre. Lady Inutaisho seemed to have lost a habit ,a reluctant friend and the fuel to her pride and somehow a competition of sorts. There is a void in her heart, a loneliness and a lament

_'You follow him, even in death. You beat me to him'_

Sesshomaru declares a nationwide mourning. He even sends a messenger to Naraku asking to expand on Negotiation time due to the recent woes that befell the kingdom.

Inuyasha is resilient and Kagome doesn't know if this resilience is a good or bad thing because ever since Lady Izaiyou passed away he refused to show any sign of grief inspite of everybody knowing he was deeply mourning. Inuyasha was sad and maybe for the first time in his life lonely, so lonely.

_'But not alone' _Kagome thinks.

Inuyasha sees to his business, he trains hard and sits through counsel sessions but he doesn't banter or object ... he stopped being difficult and being seemingly difficult was a quientessential part of who he is.

'You know you can talk, if you want to"

"Talking is something you do in harems, Kagome, with all the time you have on hand. It fits you, but it doesn't suit me"

Whatever ounce of ruefullness she formerly felt for him dissipated after his condescending remark.

Whatever stayed was anger and a '_Why did I ever care for him in the first place_' kind of thought.

Miroku pulled him aside whispering under his breath that whatever he said was rude to which Inuyasha didn't seem to bother, at least not in that point of time.

"She was trying to be nice" Miroku said

But it will bother him, later. Miroku knew it and he knew it, in the pit of his gut.

Inuyasha knows he shouldn't shut her off like this but he has to.

* * *

It seemed like fate conspired to keep her as near to him the longest as possible, so near yet so out of reach.

The messenger has reached, requesting they extend negotiation time, for Lady Izaiyou has passed away and the kingdom was mourning. He could have simply refused ... in fact, it was much more sound to refuse, they could simply be 'buying' time.

He couldn't deny though, he started this fire, he waged this war thinking he was fully cured of her love, thinking he was immune to her charm ...

Whatever torture he suffers now is retribution for his own recklessness, the heart was nothing to mess with.

Kikyou was distressed, when she heard the news. he could understand yet there was something he could read in her eyes, something that hurt him, stroke his ire

'_How is he taking it? Inuyasha, how is doing?' _

And there is part of him that wants to be in his place.

"How come, that the lady Kikyou and the great general Inuyasha haven't married yet?"

The question was mean, sneaky and terribly misplaced in terms of time and circumstance, but it was also good offensive strategy judging the almost sneer in her face .

And he was nothing but vile in the first place.

Naraku learnt that Kikyou tackles things she doesn't like with Ignorance and he expected her to ignore the question altogether or brush him off

What he didn't expect was her answering

"Most people think we are terribly mismatched, that we don't belong with each other, Tell me Naraku, what do you think? are they right about this?"

She challenges him to answer with a smile, a mocking wry smile.

_'I think, you belong with me and I think, you don't belong with me, I think you are too good for me, yet I can't let go, I am so a lowly selfish bastard that I can't let you go'_

In a role reversal that would become common in the foreseeable future, He is the one who ignores the question.

Kikyou won this round.

* * *

They meet at twilight.

Miroku has gone lengths to convince both Lady Inutaisho and Sango to let them meet.

"What do you want?" Sango was sharp, irritative, he could remember times before when she wasn't. She was nice, gentle and always smily.

But things changed, after her father's death, and Kohaku's capture .. she wasn't the same .. but he .. he loved her the same.

"I know you aren't fine"

"Kagome told you"

"Well, maybe she hinted .. but Sango, I know you, have known you for a very long time. Despite being at odds most of our lives, we have always looked out for each other. we have always felt each other"

His words seemed to appeal to a special place in her heart, one she reserved for memories, fond memories of her family, of Kohaku and the awkward 'new ward' who had an inflated self confidence and a pervert attitude to cover up for his sadness at having lost his family at war. In sense, Miroku and Sango were similar now.

They were both alone, alone and foreigners. Neither Miroku nor Sango were from this region. They were both taken in by the Inutaisho clan after years alternating between peace and conflict.

But during the recent years, many changes have occurred, the Inutaisho clan was close to ending the feudal wars, to bringing together a one unified Kingdom after so long and with their clans dwindling and their people tired it was time to pledge allegiance to this House.

And Honestly, the Inutaisho House didn't disappoint.

But still, there was Naraku, Rasetsu and Koga of the wolves clan, Koga was reluctant to pledge his allegiance to Sesshomaru, but he still maintained he doesn't want war. In fact, he hadn't sufficient resources to fund a war and being able ally with Sesshomaru on occasion protected him from both: Rasetsu and Naraku.

The mortal enemies.

She felt despondent, that negotiations for her brother's release were delayed. She loved lady Izaiyou, truly did but she coudn't but feel bad about the timing, so unimpeccable

_'Like she had a saying about it'_

"Don't worry, Sesshomaru will resume negotiations soon. Kohaku is already a done deal, the real problem is negotiating Kikyou's release"

"I know, I just feel ... he is now in the hands of a monster and every passing second I keep thinking he is in Jeopardy, I can't help wanting him back"

"We all want him back, trust me we all do. How is Kaede holding up?"

"I envy her mettle, really. she goes around as usual but something tells me she knows more to the story than she lets on and it scares and comforts her in equal measure. And Inuyasha, how is he faring?"

"He is hurting. Inuyasha feels he has lost his only support. He feels like a true Orphan now, that in terms of his mother's passing but a word between us, he is also confused, so very confused and he is directing his confusion to war. Inuyasha may truly wage an entire war to get Kikyou back"

"And is this something new?"

"No. But his motives, they are different now."

She waited for him to further explain on his statement but he didn't. Instead, It was her who had taken to further cue on the subject.

"And Kagome? from what I have seen, they have grown very close over the course of those months"

"Everybody senses that yet I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Inuyasha is torn between Loyalty to Kikyou and his new found fondneess for Kagome"

"It wasn't that they had parted on good terms really, Inuyasha and Kikyou."

"What can I say, they were always capricious"

The conversation was headed to a blunt pause before Miroku stated "I missed you .. talking to you, I mean."

Sango didn't reply, not that she didn't miss him too but that was giving away too much and as much as she loved Miroku, she blocked off those thoughts. She can never love freely when her brother was captive.

Not to mention, Miroku's lecherous pursuits.

"I heard you keep yourself company ... Oh, the infamous Miroku-san"

In his defense, he blobbed his head in negation

"Not anymore. I am trying to be a good boy. But that doesn't mean that I don't want a specific some."

Sango lowered her gaze, she knew what he meant but she had nothing to reply with.

He felt she was lighter now. This conversation it achieved its goal and now, it was time to leave, the sky was getting darker and Lady Inutaish specifically stated they both turn in before night time.

But before they parted he had to tell her something

"After Kohaku returns safely, after this war is over and after you deem me trustworthy enough for you, I will make a home for us, Sango. I will wait for now, will understand your silence until the time comes"

_'And I will be ready then, I will be ready for you'_

* * *

Sesshomaru valued peace and quiet. and he had little of either since he captured the prisoner. The last week, during the funeral's proceedings, Kagura tried to escape.

Something that both angered him and lady Inutaisho to no end.

Lady Inutaisho insisted she be transferred to a prison cell, although he tried to object .. she wouldn't take it any other way.

"But mother ..."

"She betrayed our trust, she belittled us, she disrespected we were in mourning .. she should be made example of" she firmly said, then she eyed suspiciously "Why are you objecting this so much? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"There is nothing, mother" He knew his mother suspected something since his fight with Inuyasha and that her suspicions weren't quelled, not even a little.

He could swear she had eyes around the palace telling her what he was doing.

"You are getting attached, son. And it is neither proper nor acceptable. Let me remind you, she is only here to trade for Kohaku and Kikyou, nothing more ... then she returns to wherever hellhole she came from."

_'Hell hole_' she'd agree with you on that

"Sometimes, I think I should have prohibited you from visiting her altogether"

"I am too old to be prohibited from doing things, Mother" he smiled tightly. He felt tired sometimes from having to remind her he was now an adult, a ruler of vast land and though he loved his mother dearly, she had a domineering trait to her that annoys him to no end.

"Then act like it"

But that doesn't overpower his want to see her, to chide her and even punish her for her attempt to escape.

He took a chance on her, she undermined him. It feels personal and so he decides he should visit her, one last time before negotiations begin.

* * *

The dungeon, it is dimlit. The humid and mouldy smell fills the air. It is ghastly different from the chamber designated to her before and Sesshomaru knows she must have felt the difference, the humiliation of the demotion

But, it was all her fault

"Come to revel at seeing me here, great lord Sesshomaru"

he looks at her, then looks around ..

"You should have been chained to the walls, flogged even"

"I am sure your lady mother will do this next time .. next time you see me"

"There is no next time"

Her eyes widen at his statement

"Next time, you will be handed to your brother in place of Kohaku. Until then, you stay here. and obviously I have no business here at all"

"You ... You will come. You won't give me back to him. I won't let you"

"You have no saying in this. You have obviously mistaken my clemency for weakness and you tried to escape at this time of all times ..."

"So that is it then. It is your pride that has been bruised, but forgive a captive like me for thinking little about your pride and trust whilst thinking about earning my freedom"

"Well, you seem to have lost both" He said with finality as he strode away from her.

And with every echo of his footsteps, Kagura could feel her heart crack just a little.

And maybe his heart was getting a little more empty for his liking.

* * *

He over exerts himself, devises plan after plan, rescuing Kikyou is becoming an obscession, Miroku notices, Inuyasha's coping mechanism, a distraction at best.

"You do realise" Miroku asks "That you are over exerting yourself and that everybody notices, right?"

Inuyasha doesn't answer, he has no desire to go through with the conversation

"And you do realise that most of your plans will probably go to waste?"

It still got no rise from him.

"And you do realise that your incessant occupation with saving Kikyou probably arise from guilt?"

Inuyasha flinched at that.

"I mean, to be honest, you have been anguished by Kikyou's capture for a very long time but something is different these days. It is like you do the same things you do but for a different purpose"

"and pray tell me, genius what do you think is wrong with me?" Inuyasha mocked

"You feel sad and guilty. My theory is you are so incessant about rescuing Kikyou because you are starting to feel strongly for Kagome. You feel it undermines your nobilty and your self respect, so you push off Kagome and you force youself to think about Kikyou"

"You are a delusional Idiot, Miroku"

"You can keep denying it all you want but it will still be there"

* * *

He mulls about Miroku's words. Inuyasha can't ascertain they are true or not, he is too confused!

He is tired.

He misses his mother.

He was young when he lost his father, even then he barely knew him. Yes, he had fond memories of him, but they were waterwashed and unclear. Most of the repertoire for his father was formed through his mother's stories and other people's recountings of the great lord Inutaisho.

Sesshomaru was the eldest and he spent relatively longer time with Lord inutaisho as sucessor. When he passed away, Sesshomaru and lady Inutaisho took reign and while part of him looked up to Sesshomaru and hoped he would be as kind to him as his late father, he was rapidly disappointed. Sesshomaru was groomed and primmed by his mother to be stoic and distant and soon enough it was clear the bastard would never be anything more to him than a nominal brother.

Sure, Sesshomaru has matured and has signficantly softened (as much as can be for someone like Sesshomaru) but it was a little bit too late.

So it was his mother whom he leaned upon the entire time, when he was angry, sad or ridiculed. When people would look down upon him as the half breed, the unsignificant brother.

Now, he lost her and he feels like an orphan all over again.

* * *

When Kagome sees him again, she doesn't start the conversation.

Although she can't but notice, he looks tired, so freaking tired.

She looks at him with desdain that doesn't quite reach her heart. Kagome isn't confused, unlike him. She is just angry at him for pushing her away always. She only wants to be his friend.

She knows she can be nothing more however much she wants to. He is so hung up on Kikyou and she isn't without an ethical code.

Yet there are things she can't control.

Kagome is smitten with Inuyasha.

"Kagome"

She ignores him, it is well deserved in the context of how their conversaton went last time.

But again, it is short lived for He calls her again.

"What do you want, Inuyasha?"

"I want to talk"

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with talking"

"I am so ... " he stops, Inuyasha he is probably not apologising for the life of him "I am willing to make an exception"

His puppy eyes win her over and she finds herself giving in to listening to him, all those oathes of teaaching him a lesson gone with the wind.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I .. I don't want you to ... nevermind, see you later, Kagome"

"Don't" Kagome finally snapped "Don't just start something then leave like this, Inuyasha, I don't ... you don't get to take all decisions yourself, you started this conversation with me, you end it with me, by mutual consent. So don't just go, stay and let's end this talk"

Inuyasha looks surprised at her outburst and unwillingly a comparison is drawn into his head. Kikyou, she doesn't snap, never snaps and that was always part of the problem, her anger was cold yet biting, Kagome's is searing but mangeable because at least he can tell/know she is angry but with Kikyou as rare as it was getting her angry, earning her forgiveness was almost unattainable.

"I amnot feeling well, I miss her, that is all I can say and It is strange you are the only person I am telling this to."

Kagome doesn't know if he is talking about his mother or Kikyou for what matters, but there is something in his eyes that speaks volumes, that says don't judge me, don't pull me closer or push me away and most importantly, don't leave me alone or break me and for the moment she could pretend she doesn't care less whom he is talking about.

"I understand, Inuyasha. You are tired, you are sad, you are confused. you feel like it and you look like it and you don't have to say further. It is ok. I feel frazzled as well. I feel ... I don't want to lose your friendship Inuyasha, I will fight to keep your favor, just stay"

There are lots of things hanging between them, untouched, untold yet Kagome knows it is such a great leap for Inuyasha to come so openly to her.

"And I will never do anything to lose yours, Kagome. I promise."

She looks at him like he is whole, the wholest thing in the world and he isn't used to that. He was the half breed, the one who had to fight all his life to earn recognition but she, she sees him under the best of light and part of him cringes when he realises she might be too good for him. Kagome never saw him at his worst and he wondered if it might change her perception of him.

But for the time, he prefers to sit with her, in silence mourning the mother he misses so bad, the mother who brought him to her, who trusted her to keep him reigned in.

* * *

Naraku thinks all his wars, he has won them in her name.

Before meeting Kikyou, he had no real motive to win anything, before Kikyou he was just a fugitive, running for his life ... muttering empty threats to his adversaries but after meeting her, he barely lost a single battle ... save for one.

Kikyou gave him the strongest purpose to live for, to fight for.

But she never knows this. She will never know.

The food in front of him stays forgotten, Naraku stares longly at her, the way the thirsty drink water, it has become a habit of his, one that she dislikes so much but Naraku doesn't care if she does and will keep doing this to get a rise out of her or so she thinks.

It isn't like he can't stop.

"You are such a cruel person, Lady Kikyou"

His remark, it takes her by surprise

"You are so beautiful like a star, like a Goshinboku, a solitary tree swaying in the wind, so beautiful that people's hearts ache in your presence. But you are so aloof, so lonely and so alone. Worst part, you don't even realise any of this, Kikyou."

It was the first time he had spoken to her like this.

"I don't think your words have any truth to them"

"So, you were never lonely? No, I think Inuyasha fills the void well."

Kikyou doesn't answer.

"I find no reason nor need for you to speak this way, Naraku"

"Of course"

"Were you ever lonely yourself, Naraku?"

"Me, never" he shrugs at her suggestion knowing fully well, he is lying through his teeth

or maybe he isn't, for she is always there, her shadow at least.

The rest of the time, they sit in silence. Kikyou wonders though if her loneliness shows that much or if he is just perceptive.

But Naraku still looks every once in a while and the remnants of his mad heart still aches.


	8. Tales of Love, Monsters and Princes

_**Tales of Love, Monsters and Princes**_

They are on cordial terms now and it scares her.

She feels like he is winning, like she is waning. Habituation is it? Or maybe pity? She doesn't want to get used to this but somehow she is despite herself.

Kanna has started to tell her about him, his past and she can't deny her empathy, her fascination. He strived so hard ... In a way he reminded her of Inuyasha except he wasn't him. Inuyasha is and will always be the better man, the better general.

But again, Naraku is the better politician. he has resourcefulness and guile and an ability to bend people to his will. Amoral as he might be, he was efficient, very efficient that you could tell he is heartless.

Except Kikyou feels he isn't.

He terrifies her, to say the least, in his civilty and his rage, in the way he looks at her that invokes all kinds of panic.

This man whatever he calls himself: Onigumo, Kagewaki or Naraku, sometimes looks at her like she is the moon's incarnate, like life, death and resurrection depend on her. He looks with such ferociousness, fondness and gentleness that almost mellow her, that almost touch her heart.

_He looks at her like he is almost in L..._

Inuyasha looks too, Inuyasha looks at her but somehow he doesn't. Why does she always feel like he is looking at a Kikyou in his mind, a faultless picture he imagines rather than the real her?

Yet, the monster in him, no, the monster that is him, looks with a vengeance, a desdain that would freeze the blood in her veins. He looks at her the way a captive looks at its jailer, its torturer. And however strong she is, whatever courage she musters, whatever facade she maintains, she has to admit, it scares her, its unpredictabilty, its lust for everything .. for power, for strength, for company and if she would be honest enough .. its lust for her.

But what scares her the most: She is beginning to like it.

* * *

_"And once his eyes laid on her, a fire sprung to life inside of him and Magatsuhi was born. Before Midoriko, before seeing her he was nothing but a man, a simple man with no desire or ambition ... one who would have merely lived a quiet life and died without much mark, yet .. when he saw her, a mad man was born, one that will eventually turn into a monster who would dishonor and defile her, Midoriko would be the death of him, one who would kill him and him her." _

This is a spiel, a tale passed down in their region about priestess Midoriko and the dragon demon, Magatsuhi of Shikon .. the ancestors of Kikyou. one he laughed off the first time he heard, never thinking he would live the story and ponder so much on it. Kikyou, it seemed had Midoriko's charm, her beauty, her kindness and penchant to create monsters that would chase them for life, or maybe they just awaken the dormant monsters in men.

There were other tales: Tsukuyomaru and Shizo, Hoshiyomi and Tsukiyomi ... all fiery, all passionate and quintessentially tragic, all stories he looked upon in cynicism yet Magatsuhi and Midoriko's, it stuck with him somehow and now he wonders how much rage did Magatsuhi have? How much desire? Did he love Midoriko or was it simply a consequence of him warring against her, wanting to prove his might and to humiliate her?

And most importantly, did she harbour any love for him?

The story never specifies if they ever had any peaceful encounters, it never tells how they both felt and he doesn't know any source that would solve all those questions he asks himself neither does he know any healer who would quell the rage, the sadness and the desperation in him.

He could never love in a normal honourable way nor can his love be reciprocated.

It is Kikyou amidst all the rage, Kikyou and Inuyasha. he wonders if Inuyasha was never there, would he stand a chance? and the query itself is enough to knock all common sense out of him. Inuyasha and the inevitable comparison between them, both scioned by concubines yet one cherished and the other mistreated, one legitimised and the other wasn't, One loved and the other scorned.

Yet, he was willing to give it all up, his envy and malice, if Kikyou would look at him once the way she looks at Inuyasha.

She will never.

She will always look upon him in desdain like Midoriko looked upon Magatsuhi.

But recently, being in her proximity is too much for him, the ramblings, the insinuations of his inner demons are getting louder. He had Kikyou in his hands. Her beauty is calling to him and sometimes he can't but think what would happen if he would indulge her a little more.

A war would break out? be it .. it wasn't a novelty in the region and he was selfish enough.

She would hate him?! Oh, she loathes him already, there is nothing there to lose and she would never spare him a chance.

He would die?! he was already dead, long ago or so he thinks. but if his heart has to stop beating ... if his blood needs to be spilt and his breathe held captive in his chest ...

If all so for good, he would rather have it done, by her ... for her at the very least. No regrets.

After all, he knows how it tastes like, when she takes his breathe away .. when she messes with his heart . She almost kills him when she looks at him or calls his name be it in hate, anger or inquisition.

It wouldn't hurt to die leaving his mark on her, baptising her in his name.

It wouldn't hurt to die for good, leaving his name on her lips, be it in love or loathe.

However, what stops him from the carnage that brews in his mind, what reigns the Magatsuhi in him is when he thinks about what this might do to her. He imagines her body, lifeless in his hands, battered and bruised. He imagines her tainted with blood, dead in his arms and it is then and only then when his racing mind stops. After he is done, this wouldn't break Kikyou, this would kill her.

And He can lie to himself all he wants but whatever left of his heart can't stand the mere thought of her dying, Not yet.

_'Not ever'_

* * *

They agreed to exchange prisoners and resume the negotiations in the wolves' land much to Inuyasha's chagrin who had hope for the last minute that Sesshomaru would change his mind.

"He hates Koga, the wolves' leader" Kaede clarified

"what for?"

"Personality clash, suffice it to say, they both have massive egos"

"Oh"

Koga, the wolves' leader .. Kagome wasn't so familiar with him. It was Kaede who let her on the basics regarding Koga and his clan. She did know that the Wolves' tribes influence was in fact waning and their numbers dwindling and that they suffered immense losses during their wars with both Rasetsu and Naraku, losses that were capable of wiping them off existence and terminating their line forever ... Had it been for Koga.

Koga wasn't the strongest, the smartest nor the most courageous of leaders, yet he was level-head and keen on his people. He could cope with the new reality well, something his predecessors couldn't do.

Something hers didn't.

So he formed an alliance with Sesshomaru, strived to end the war and was working on uniting different branches of the tribes together, through trading, hunting and inter-marriage.

He was succeeding.

"The number of troops, what had they agreed on?"

"A cohort of Hundred each"

"too little"

"No, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru think it is fine. Koga is their ally in addition, we have a close station point."

"But Naraku does as well"

"He doesn't have as much troops as we do. He lost a great deal in his war against Rasetsu. In all cases, he is out numbered. That is why he is so reluctant to leave his territory or venture deeper than necessary"

"But he still raided Shikon. He still assissted in the fall of my homeland. How can you be so sure he wouldn't try something or lure us into a trap?"

"Kagome, he needs to stay on good terms with Sesshomaru. In fact, he respects Sesshomaru that much."

"What for?"

"Sesshomaru didn't ally against him when his house was ousted. In fact, it has been circulated among the council that he only ever assissted in raiding your home as retribution for when your house warred against him. Anyway, He holds Sesshomaru's stand in reverence and he wants to maintain a certain allowance if he ever needs to align with Sesshomaru"

"Attacking Shikon doesn't fit that strategy"

"Shikon" Kaede stressed "is a whole different story"

Kagome couldn't help but notice the darkness that swept over her features. Kaede, she felt knew something they didn't know. Kagome realised why lady inutaisho held her and Kikyou in high regard. Kaede was perceptive and if the rumours were true, that Kikyou surpassed Kaede in physical and mental form .. then She certainly was a force not to reckon with.

_'That is why he loves her so much' she wistfully thought._

* * *

Sango was seething. This, she never expected this. Their captive, everybody knew who she was now and everyone was stunned.

Kagura, Naraku's sister has been in the palace all this time and Sesshomaru never told them, never bothered to.

Had it not been for this ...

Miroku walked over to her, he knew he shouldn't but he would rather have her vent it off on him instead of anybody else.

"You knew?"

"I did, I am sorry"

"Who else?"  
"Inuyasha, Lady Inutaisho and of course .."

"Sesshomaru"  
She didn't speak afterwards .. their silence stretched before he started again

"I am sorry"

"Why the hell hadn't you told me?"

"He didn't want anybody to know. he was scared someone would try an attempt on her life"

"Oh! like someone didn't. and pray tell me why he didn't tell us, his wards, his allies, his friends .. does he think so low of us?"

"No... he didn't want to hurt, anybody. He didn't want to leak the news like how it happened now"

"He was scared I would lose it, right? Or ..." Sango's eyes widened, if Inuyasha's words were of any truth .. "He didn't want to humiliate her, he might have even took her for concubi.."

"No, he didn't" Miroku promptly negated, the first part of her statement though, he couldn't cross it off entirely.

"Oh my god, all this time, Inuyasha was right"

"Sango .. get your mind out of the gutter. He didn't. Sesshomaru is an honourable man"

"Which honourable man would do what he had done? Tell me Miroku"

"One who thought was doing th best for everyone."

"So, he doesn't care for her?!" she asked incredulously "Because as much as everybod was trying to hide it, Sesshomaru seemed awfully distraught"

"He is a taciturn"

"That doesn't answer the question"

"It isn't mine to answer" he firmly stated "But before you judge him so bad, before you give way to your anger .. think of it this way: Sesshomaru is a man who can't do what he likes, what he wants to .. he has so many people hanging onto him, so many he is responsible for. He has Lady Inutaisho watching his every move and Rin to take care of. His heart, it has been sealed for so long. Even if he cares for Kagura, he knows the right thing to do. And as councellor, I can attest he didn't falter in his attempts to free Kohaku or Kikyou, he hasn't been lenient, not for a second."

Over the course of their conversation, he kept getting close .. too close for her likening that now she had to shove him off, literally.

"Sango, Had you known .. it wouldn't have made a difference. Now, we need to keep a hundred eyes in case someone sneaks in and tries to finish her off. If that happens, all previous negotiations, everything will be annulled"

"Will the date be set back again?"

"No, it won't .. everything must end as soon as possible"

"How bad was it? How bad is she hurt?"

Miroku doesn't know exactly from where her question stems: compassion, curiosity or cruelty. He is inclined to think though, it is a mixture of the later two.

"Nothing too dangerous, a few cuts, deeper than minor scratches though"

"Who did it?"

Miroku could never answer that.

* * *

Kagura remembers those moments in her mind like a summer haze, a grogginess and a feeling that she is slipping away.

She managed to secure a small knife during her transfer from the chambers to the prison, and she figured out it was time to put it to use. It was time she used it.

_'I am a sinner, yet I seek your clemency, Oh dear god, If only I can see him, just one last time'_

Time keeps passing, slowly then slower, before she starts hearing a hurdle of noise and footsteps ...

Then she sees him.

At that time, she didn't know if it was him, the real him or if it was a vision, a figment of her imagination, some devil torturing her in his form ... he stood high, rising above her, he didn't stoop or lean or move yet his eyes were different. There was something at the back of his eyes, a sadness, a loneliness and she wondered if they were always there hidden behind the stoicness and indifference.

His eyes, she figured out too late, were beautiful.

"I still owe you an answer" He said, voice as sturdy as ever

"So, you are coming here to taunt me still"

"No, I came here to see you"

She doesn't remember much afterwards .. she blacked out then. Maybe that was it, maybe she was dead at last.

She wasn't

She woke up, he was there, sitting a healthy distance away from her

He craned his head towards her, once he heard her stir, his mouth a straight line, his face as unreadable as ever.

"Sara Asano was nothing like you" He said "She was delicate, lenient and kind. She loved me"

"And you don't think I .." she doesn't follow through with the sentence, he doesn't let her

"You think so little of me" he said "so little, I am insulted. Yet, what you did the other day .. it .. What were you thinking?"

"I .. I never think little of you. Never did, never will do. But I know this .. you will never think of me more than a captive. You will never love me Sesshomaru, the way I do. Even if you do, there is a vast distance between us, one that is unconquerable. And I don't want to be with anyone other than you,now that I have known you. I don't want to lose myself, my freedom or you. If I return, Naraku will use me as a pawn, will trade me off to one of his generals or allies and I don't want that"

And there she was confessing love for Sesshomaru who wouldn't even budge, much less think about her.

"He is your brother"

"It isn't how you think. He is sick, beyond sick even. and his sickness, his madness destroys anything that it comes in contact with"

He stood up, then walked towards the door. he was leaving, she could guess.

"You said that now, while you are alive there is a distance between us, an unconquerable distance, right? Had you died, how long would that distance be in your opinion? Would it be conquerable then?"

He had a point. Oh god, he is even proud in the way he scolds her.

He turned his head slightly towards her, as he opened the door.

"I am no wallflower prince, no moping monarch .. I am a warrior prince and a good one at that, so have a little faith"

Then he left her.

* * *

"You will save her, I know"

It was twilight when Kagome ambushed him. He was sitting alone, lost in thought away from the palace, from sour-mood Miroku, away from the bustle and chaos Kagura caused.

Inuyasha wasn't at peace and he didn't need more havoc on his mind right now. He had enough issues and currently one of them was at hand.

She always happened to come right as he was thinking of her.

He knew he was smitten with Kagome but Kikyou .. and he knew he can't love both or keep both and if he even attempt he will lose both and he doesn't want to slight any of them.

"Why do you always speak like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you really want me to save her"

"I really do, do you ever think otherwise?"

She reminded him of Izaiyou, his mother.

"Do you like me?" he said bluntly, harshly even that she flinches and she doesn't know if it is his honesty or his brashness that throws her off guard

"I .. I" she stumbles upon words, she wasn't even prepared for this

"Stop being so damn selfless, Kagome. Show off some anger, some jealousy, some selfishness .. anything that would make it easier for me not to ..."

He stopped mid sentence

"I can't. I am sorry, Kagome. I really can't just give up on the past. Not right now at least. I need closure so I can really know what to do but ... I don't want to lose you now that I found you. I really don't"

"Inuyasha?"

She turns to him and in a gesture that nobody has done in so long, holds both his hands

"Yes"

"I only ever want you to be happy."


	9. Heart a straight road, Mind a labyrinth

_**The heart is a straight road, the mind is a labyrinth**_

It has been so long since he looked at himself in the mirror.

Maybe it was shame, the speckles of guilt lingering somewhere in the crevice of his soul or maybe he was just scared of himself, of seeing the extend of what the scars and the burns had done to him.

Either way today, he decided to look and what he saw surprised him in some sense.

His features were now mature, more mature than they used to be, His eyes sharper, his cheekbones more defined, yet he retained some of the former softness, at least so when his features weren't contorted in anger, mockery or evil for he doubted he ever sports that face when his enemies tremble in fear in front of him, the sleekness of how his facial contour runs, the fact his face wasn't as hairy as he would have liked it to be .. and a piece of his mind betrays him, maybe he wasn't so hideous ..

Yet, the slivers of his scars, they stare back at him, quenching that little bright voice in his head, his scars were still shadowing his face somehow despite having his hair grown to hide them, the contracted skin was bordering his face, tongues running to his cheeks. He lifts his hair to the side, his neck is heavily scarred, mutilated even, the contractures pulling on his head, tilting it a wee bit, his shoulder blades and upper back were burnt as well ..

Still he was lucky, it could have been much worse, after all, that was what it meant, being captured and tortured.

He wouldn't have cared much for the aesthetics though, yet in comparison to Inuyasha, it did give him a disadvantage.

He felt like a freak, an ugly man, unwhole in a sense. Maybe those burns, those scars were repulsive.

He throws his hair back to hide them.

He never stood a chance. He thinks about smashing the wretched mirror to pieces yet Kanna ambushes him before he is carried away.

"I see you are preening"

He turns his back to the mirror deciding to drop it off altogether

"Is there something you want, Kanna?"

"I doubt it has to do with the guest"

"Prisoner, you mean"

She looks at him wryly, her eyes speaking the question on her tongue '_What kind of prisoner do you forgo your own chamber for?'_

"Anyway, I thought you should be on your way to the wolves', along with the troops and Kohaku"

She was impatient, excited even, Kanna wanted Kagura back. They were close, very close. In fact .. Kanna loved and looked up to her elder sister, the one who tried to soften all the blows they had back when they were fugitives, back when it was only loneliness, sadness and despair around them.

"Sesshomaru and his troops haven't moved yet."

"How do you know that?"

"He maybe watching his capital and palace like a hawk, capturing whatever spy we had sent .. yet I still have eyes on the roads and passages."

"Oh.."

Kanna looks at him still, intently even. Naraku was starting to soften, to turn back to his former self, he was starting to resemble Kagewaki more and more under Kikyou's influence and that thrilled her.

Kagewaki was a sweet, gentle boy.

"Anyway, you don't look half as bad" she smiled.

This was rare, Kanna in high spirits and an elated mood .. smiling rather than brooding and for once he decided to smile back, it felt natural, good even..

Abruptly though, she asked him "Do you know the best way to woo a woman?"

"What?!"

"That means you are surprised or that you don't know .. anyway, I heard you can start with tokens, gifts . Jewellery is a good pick, clothes ... "

"You are so happy about Kagura's return that you are going crazy"

_'There is only one crazy person over here, one love fool.'_

"It wouldn't hurt you trying, big brother"

* * *

Kikyou was withering, she felt that much. Something in her was breaking, she was tired of this, depleted. She doesn't want to stay here, she doesn't want anything anymore.

He was trying to be kind or maybe she thought he was but it was wrong, something was terribly wrong in all this. It was worse than when all he showed was disdain, mere disdain but now that she doubts it all stems from more than she had originally thought of, more than he had originally shown, she can't but feel put off. Her hatred for him, the fire that kept her alive was being consumed in a way she doesn't know how to stale.

Even Inuyasha, she thinks, she no longer remembers him in a way.

The only thing that maybe is of worth to her now is Kaede. She just wants to see her sister again, even for the briefest of time, even if it was just a dream.

* * *

An entourage was in preparation, and everybody wanted to go, that included Sango and Kagome, much to Inuyasha's displeasure.

"You shouldn't be going"

"You shouldn't dictate me what to do"

He was annoyed, exasperated even. He wasn't in the mood to argue or refute.

He will have to settle this with Sesshomaru then.

"She did ask me to come"

"And what did you tell her?"

"That I will think about, Sango insists on going so it wouldn't hurt for her to have a companion."

"I can't believe it, Sesshomaru. Don't you think it would be dangerous for them?"

"i know, but they want to. I can't deny Sango at least, she wants to see Kohaku desperately. Miroku doesn't disapprove, either."

"It is a different thing with Kagome. We could be attacked, Sango, she knows how to fight but I doubt Kagome has any experience or Idea about fighting or combat. She would be an easy Target if anything happens"

"So, you are worried about Kagome then."

"I... Just don't let her go, Sesshomaru, for whatever's sake"

"I will tell her she can't go, but she will probably figure out the influence. It will not work in your favour. Anyway, Do you have any idea why does she want to go?"

"No"

"Then why don't you talk to her? Try to figure this out?"

In some perspective, Sesshomaru knew where his brother's agitation was coming from, fear, fear of losing Kagome like he lost Kikyou, like he lost his mother.

His brother really sucks at putting up tough fronts as hard as he tries. No one beats him at this.

* * *

There is a story Kaede thinks she will take to her grave. A story about a man, a monster who became obsessed. Naraku,, or Onigumo, as he called himself back then had a look in his eyes that scared her, terrified her even and truth to be told, she always knew he hated them, he made no effort to hide his hostility until .. She realised he didn't.

It was the day Kikyou left him in her care while Inuyasha was visiting.

That day, he told her he will finish Inuyasha off, tear him to pieces. He told her he will have Kikyou scream, scream his name.

He told her, he will make Kikyou his.

Yet, the very same day when Kikyou fell off her horse, when she was hurt … the man, the man in him couldn't mask his worry, his concern and for the rest of the upcoming days when she couldn't see him, he was going mad.

In a way, she didn't understand him, but Kaede had this insinuation, that this obsession, this imbalance in him was dangerous.

And now that the days have turned, she wished she had told Kikyou.

"You are so deep in thought"

Kagome has been observing her friend, Kaede seemed distraught, yes she was hiding her sadness around Sango, but Kagome could feel.

"Nothing .. It is just, I do remember things, things that would have made a difference back when they happened, back when there was a chance .. I miss Kikyou, my only family, my friend and sister. I miss feeling happy and light as well."

"You are such a strong noble person, Kaede. I now understand why both you and Kikyou are so valued and dignified among the courtesans. But you don't have to carry all the weight alone, or hide your fear all the time. You can talk to me."

"I know Kagome .. It is just somethings are too painful to say, too painful to recount."

"You know much more than you let on"

"No, only a little bit"

"About?"

"Naraku"

Kagome was waiting attentively for her to proceed, but Kaede was hesitant. They were sitting in the gardens, and supposedly the weather was fine but .. even at the mention of him, the whole demeanor seemed to darken a considerable bit.

In the end, Kaede started to speak, after all her biggest regret was not telling Kikyou of what she had known earlier.

The tale appalling as it was for Kagome, has in a away interpreted the whole ordeal, Kaede's reactions and Naraku's Ambiguity about Kikyou's fate.

"He doesn't want to let her go, maybe even incapable"

"Does Inuyasha know?"

"No, you are the only one who knows"

What they both didn't notice was the shadow of Miroku as he retreated back to the palace.

The weight of what he knew, Should he tell his friend, add one other burden upon his back or should he leave him in oblivion ...

This Naraku, he realised is much more complex than they had all initially thought and that was scary.

* * *

He has a box of trinkets, an old jewellery box made of the finest Mahogany, It used to be his late step mother's box, if he can ever call her so.

He traces the box, Echoes of Kanna's words in his head .. a fantastical part of his heart wants to offer Kikyou something, he wants to see her reaction, wants to live the fantasy of being in love, of singing and writing poetry and offering tokens and having all his feelings reciprocated but he knows better than this.

'_It wouldn't hurt you trying, Big brother'_

For now, he pushes the thoughts back for he will be leaving soon, once Sesshomaru and his trope do.

Being away from his kingdom scares him, for anybody could attack. Anybody could try to usurp him. Yet, he must go himself this time.

He must Negotiate Kikyou's release with Sesshomaru one on one.

He wants Shikon .. the city. He might have raided it, but he couldn't maintain footing and Sesshomaru's troops pushed him away, past the city's borders.

Now, he wants it back.

He knew his bargain may never come to pass, after all it is a hefty sum he is asking, too hefty to be true, yet he has to test their limits.

And in a way, it was the least to ask for the soul that he was going to forsake and the heart that was never his in the first place.

* * *

Kagome was enraged, she knew he was behind Sesshomaru's change of heart.

_'That dog' She fumed 'I am going to kill him'_

She found him swords training with Miroku on the training ground.

"Inuyasha, What the hell did you tell lord Sesshomaru?"

At the sight of her, he dropped his sword. Admittedly, an angry Kagome was a scary sight to behold.

"I will let you two settle this" Miroku said as he withdrew from place.

"Kagome, What are you talking about?"

He feigned Ignorance, it further stroke her ire.

"Going with you to the wolves"

"I ... As his general, I advised him against it. Having too many people, especially untrained people is a liabilty to our cohort"

"but you are taking Sango ... Kaede might go and ..."

"Sango is a very well trained fighter and Kaede knows the basics about being a healer, you?"

"Kaede has been teaching me about apothecary and had you asked me, you would have known I was trained in archery"

Inuyasha seemed to be surprised at that ..

_'What a coincidence. Kikyou too was an ..'_

"Still though, you are probably no match to them"

At this, she was offended .. he knew she was. By now, Inuyasha has figured out, he just blurts out the most stupid of words.

Kagome spots a bow, hung on the walls of the training ground, it was unkempt .. the bowstring was slightly loose, the arrowheads blunt, yet ..

_'Still, It will do'_

She took the bow off the wall, stood against the target plan, then lifted in firing position ... She had to clear her mind, she had to overcome the stiffness of the bow, the looseness of the string and the difficulty of the target in order to aim right.

Her muscles were taught, her nerves were sharp .. Inuyasha stood mesmerised .. this girl in front of him was Kikyou .. this girl was Kagome ... the tension in his gaze, the panic rose across as the tension built in the bowstring ... releasing the momentum as the arrow flew to hit target.

"I told you, I am good"

"Kikyou was good as well, still she got caught."

"So, this is why you are so adamant against this, you are afraid I might be captivated"

"Yes"

He shrugged his answer like it is the simplest thing in the world.

"I want to go because I don't want to leave you alone."

He stared her in the eyes, this Kagome might someday break his heart .. or maybe the other way round and in both cases he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

"Will you help me convince Sesshomaru to rescind his refusal?"

Her eyes were hopeful, shining a stark contrast to how she first came in and the soft spot in his heart couldn't bear to break this light.

"I will"

"Thank yo..."

"But Know this, Kagome. If anything happens to you .. anything, I won't be able to handle it, the rage, the anger .. nothing, nothing will hold me back anymore, nothing will be able t o contain them."

This was the closest admission to caring for her, to loving her that she will ever get out of him.

"Nothing will happen, I promise. We will both take good care."

_'Hopefully' his mind sadly echoed 'Hopefully'_

* * *

Something was seeping out of Kikyou, he knew that much, but he didn't have the audacity to ask. He looks at her, her eyes are downcast and hollow, her face impassive, there is no ease, no anger, no sadness or even malice. It is as white as a bedsheet.

This captivity was finally taking its toll on her mind. He was seemingly winning, he should be happy but why does he feel so bitter?

_'This isn't the Kikyou you know, this isn't the Kikyou you love'_

"You miss them that much?"

She doesn't answer, the answer was so apparent yet he was trying to get her to talk, to snap her out of it ... He was a fool, a contradictory fool, he knew that much.

"I want Shikon, I will negotiate your release on this term. As long as Sesshomaru gives it back to me, I will let you go"

"He will never do."

"No, he will. Your Inuyasha will convince him"

"Inuyasha will tear you apart rather than negotiate."

"So, he doesn't care that much, does he?"

"It isn't that .. "

"Tell me Kikyou, now that you have been gone for months now, If you go back, will you find things the same way you left them? Will you find him the same way you left him? He might have found somebody, you know."

"No, Naraku. I won't but still the worst that can be there is better than your best here."

He must have struck a nerve for her to respond that aggressively.

"Anyway, let me assure you something, Kikyou. Nothing ever stays the same. Hearts are fickle things"

_'Things change, feelings either diminish or heighten'_

"Well, I don't think Kaede has changed much though"

"I beg to differ, she must have gotten used to this like you have gotten used to being here."

"I might have been forced to get used to this but in the end my feelings about this never change. I hate every minute of it."

"Well, there is nothing I can do about that, is there?" He coldly smiled, cursing himself mentally. It wasn't supposed to go like this. This conversation wasn't supposed to be like this.

"but let me tell you this, I don't hate you being here, Kikyou. That is problematic, isn't it?"

"Naraku, I don't want to play mind games today."

"I am not playing any games Kikyou, believe me, I am not messing with your head."

"Then what is it that you have doing all this time, Naraku? Pray tell me"

He doesn't answer.

"I have to leave, If you will let me" She rose from her seat across her and turned away, walking towards the door.

Her hair was flowing like the night before him, tempting, endless and suddenly the ideas he tried so hard to suppress started to float to the surface.

That night, he would knock on her door, he would ask her in and he would hand her something _'for old time's sake' _then leave her dumbfounded than ever before.

_'A gift?!' She thought 'a hair pin?!'_

Kikyou just held her head in her hands, whatever this Naraku does, be it evil or as good as he was capable of is just going to kill her.

_'Enough with the mind games' her teeth clenched_

He wouldn't sleep that night either, thinking everything through. Dearest Kagura's return, Securing the kingdom and ... no, he wouldn't say her name.


	10. The Carnage that is breakpoint

_**The Carnage that is breakpoint**_

Everything smells like blood ... He can almost taste it, he could feel it , viscid, warm, a sheer opposite to the coldness of his hands.

He has got to see her.

Sleep which has evaded him the beginning of the night came to haunt him with vengeance, a cruel fleet of scenes, of visions he would have never wanted to see.

But that wasn't a novelty.

He is still in trance, he runs like a wounded tiger to his chamber ... He opens the door, she is sleeping . He approaches, watching her breathe, she starts to moan, to wake up as he hovers dangerously over her face. once her eyes open, she is startled ... she is horrified but he doesn't care, right now he doesn't. He drinks her in, stares at her with all his might.

This thing was real. This thing felt real ... the way he held onto her cold dead body in his sleep after he killed her .. the way her eyes lost their luster .. In his dream, she was with Inuyasha, she had him in bed and he couldn't watch, couldn't bear to ... In his dream, he kills him without remorse, but her, he kills her but then ... he dies thereafter.

He stabs himself the moment she falls dead on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She is pinned against the floor by him a man in simple breeches in the middle of the night, it is all too improper, too lacking in propiety and admittedly, she is scared, scared of his madness. She wouldn't stand a chance against him. No... she wouldn't.

This wasn't the first time, he dreams of her. He always does, the blissful times are in Shikon when she used to tend to him ... the nightmares which is what his sleep mostly comprises of occur here, in this chamber. Sometimes, he hurts her, sometimes she lures him in a position so similar to this one, and as he gives in, as he whispers her name, as he is about to indulge her, she stabs him in the gut, she taunts him, how pathetic he was, how ugly before he finally wakes up gasping for the air knocked out him ...

But it never felt worse when it finally was the other way round, when he kills her, this time in particular.

"Naraku" she shouts, hoping he would budge off her but he doesn't instead he holds on her shoulders, he shakes her like a ragdoll, it hurts.

He backed off, propping her up so she sits facing him, he stares her in the eyes .. his eyes mirror her terror, something that shocks her, this man was as equally terrified as she was, was it her that scared him or perhaps himself?

Her terror dissipates, this wasn't the monster coming to get her this night, this was a man , a terrified man seeking her refuge, her clemency.

He puts his arms around her in an embrace, the way a drowing man hangs onto his only rescuer and all she finds herself doing is whispering his name, chanting to him that everything is fine, no need to panic, he was fine now and she starts to remember the way they used to be in Shikon, when she had been nursing him to heath ... he might have been acrid but still, there was something in him that called out to her kindness ...

His mind was starting to grasp whatever it is that was happening, the tension in his arms was easing, and he could feel his body slipping away from his control again, his body was starting to react to Kikyou now, but not in terror, comfort maybe or whatever this is, it wasn't a good sign ... he promptly jerked himself away from this embrace, away from her.

He rose to his full height now, walking stealthly to the shoji ,opening it and standing against the crisp late night breath.

"Forget it, whatever happened .. Forget it" He mumbled "I will send Kanna to sleep with you for the rest of the night"

"No, don't wake her up at such late hour ... just leave"

She doesn't have to say it twice, he turns and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him as he plunges into the darkness alone.

And right after, his legs give away and he stays put right against the door.

_'Your Face, It doesn't part from this mind,_

_How far will I fare in your pursuit at the end_

_My woes of pain are stronger than they had ever been in my chest_

_Parting away from your love is the only thing that hurts_

_You are the moon, whose beams reach everyone, _

_It reaches but never reaches at the same time .._

_your memory as painful as it be, it flows in my blood,_

_where it reaches my heart but doesn't reach nonetheless _

_You pass me by, you linger closer than a breathe but you never spare me a glance_

_Look at me, despite my despondence, my darkness, Look at me _

_Shine your beam on me, just once' *_

She doesn't return to sleep that night.

* * *

She sat at the other end of the door, Kikyou was baffled at all that occurred, the sheer panic in him ... that fear. A part of her empathised, a part was willing to offer comfort to the man.

At first, she thought he was drunk, he was blabbering like a drunkard but somehow she knew he wasn't.

_'That hurts' she thought._

But whatever his state of mind was, that was a trangression, a dangerous evolution in how they dealt with each other. This man had no qualms about entering the chamber at midnight while she was in there, and holding onto her so intimately in a way others might have interpreted as scandalous and worst she accepted so, she was starting to become receptive to all of his approaches and that ..

She had to put a stop, an end to all this.

* * *

Something transpired in the palace before their departure. Lady Inutaisho was tense, lord Sesshomaru was exceptionally distraught and despite seeing him off as they left, their farewell was slightly off, it wasn't in their formal tepid way of conversing .. this time it was soft, almost apologetic.

_Rumour has it ... an argument between the obediant son and his wise mother has finally occurred._

Some maids have heard voices for the first and probably last time in their lives, coming from Lady Inutaisho's quarters, brief .. muffled but such novelty to ever hear anything coming from there.

Inuyasha knew the details of this incident will probably be taken to the grave but he could still guess the reason for it all ...

The solemn look on Sesshomaru's face told him everything he needed to know.

_"I can't let you do this, Sesshomaru. I can't. This is far beyond acceptable .. this .. I thought you knew better."_

_"Why do you deem it so unacceptable mother? It isn't like i am doing anything wrong .. I jus"_

_"You are just letting your heart get the best of your common sense, you are risking this kingdom, our status by seeking an alliance with those thugs .. I can't let you put all we have been building, all what your father has been building at stake, I can't let you give into this whim."_

_"Mother" his voice is level, calm unlike hers, which hasn't gone that high since a very long time "Have I been anything but an exemplary son?"_

_She moved her sharp accusatory eyes away from his now._

_"Have I been anything but an exemplary Lord of this house? Have I ever forsaken the principles of this house or your former? Mother, Have I ever put myself before this kingdom?"_

_Lady Inutaisho knew the answer to her question very well_

_"Answer me mother, Had I ever ever gone against a single word you said? Marrying Sara Asano? Warring thereafter with her house, when her father had gone rogue ... Did I ever blame for anything? When i lost my arm during this battle with him? When she died Heartbroken, Did I ever say anything?"_

_"You know it was all for the good of these lands. You know how much Sara Asano loved you and that there was no peaceful way to get around her father."_

_"I know mother, I know. I followed your every word willingly, because I bellieved you, because I trusted you and Because I love you mother."_

_"I .. I want the best for you, even when I never show it, I just want what is best for you"_

_"I know, great Lady Inutaisho, daughter of noble clan, wife of honorable Lord Inutaisho. But don't you think it is time you let me do something the way I want mother? Don't you think I am entitled to after all this time?"_

_"As my son, you are. As Lord of this hous..."_

_"As lord of this house, I am willing to form this alliance for the best interest of it. Whatever happens it won't be as bad as what happened before with my former father in law"_

_"I pushed so much, right? So hard you are rebelling now of all times .."_

_"Mother, I am a grown up man, now. This is not a rebellion although being pushy ,It is part of who you are, part of how you function. But we loved you, all of you nonetheless."_

_She knew he wasn't just referring to himself, he also meant his father by his words as well._

_She looks at him, he might have grown up but traces of her young son were still there. The one she imagined along with his father what a great man he was going to be, the one who would conquer, the one who would reunite their realm._

_And Sesshomaru didn't disappoint, up until now at least._

_"I will never be able to dissuade you from this, won't I?"_

_"I am willing for your consent, your blessing and council nevertheless"_

_"Then, you will have it, Sesshomaru, like you have always had it, dearest son."_

"Is there anything you need to tell me?" Inuyasha managed catch up to him, snap him out of his thoughts.

'_Inuyasha_' another weight he had to carry now that he has _'this_' particular plan in mind.

How will he break it out to him without effectively risking him going rogue? He doesn't want to take him by surprise either but ..

"I was thinkiing about Kikyou. What will he ask for her return?"

"Money, probably and we are prepared to give as much as he wants"

"I wish it could be that simple but everything hints it is way more heftier than that"

"What could he possibly want?"

"Territory, maybe?"

"He is way past delusional if he thinks we will ever .."

"Inuyasha, of all the people, you know who he has as captive. You were prepared to wage a war for her .."

"And am still"

"Point is, Whatever he asks, it will be a heavy price to pay and I was thinking maybe we can level with him .."

Inuyasha eyed him skeptically, Sesshomaru has a plan he doesn't want to disclose and he knew it would be fruitless to try to lure it out of him.

But leveling with Naraku, that is a thing he doesn't want to accept.

"Leveling with him?! After all what he has done"

"If it brings her back safe and spares us potential war, will you let your pride get the best of you at this matter?"

Inuyasha doesn't answer him

"In time, Inuyasha. we will see about that in time."

Inuyasha may have not perceived what Sesshomaru was trying to say but Miroku had a hunch about what his lord was about to do.

_'I hope it doesn't end in a bloodbath'_

* * *

Words reach him of their departure, the cohort and its number, the notable people on the entourage and an interesting piece of information about Inuyasha and new companion whom he circles more so often. A companion wih an eerie resemblance to the Lady Kikyou.

"Lord Sesshomaru, he kept his word. There is nothing suspicious about their entourage. In fact, if we ust want we can take them by surprise and .."

"Bankotsu, If you do so, you are no short of a fool, an inexperienced miserable fool"

Bankotsu, his first in command, looked quizically at him.

"Inuyasha and Sesshomaru alone can wipe out half our sentry without much effort. All the villages, all the towns along the roadbelt are loyal to their house, they can summon them anytime to their defense. The wolves are a tad close to pledging allegance to them. All those will come to hound us if we try to betray them. Then, We will be throttled between them and Rasetsu."

"So ..."

"So, we have to be true to this deal."

* * *

When he storms the room, he finds her on her knees, hands clasped together, she is praying at the opposite end of the room ... he stands his ground, ruminating her in her act of worship but not for long, she turns her head towards him and rises to her feet signalling the end of her prayers.

_'Maybe she was asking god to rid her of the demon that is you'_

It doesn't escape his notice though the hairpin he gave her, being neatly discarded on a table nearby.

"You don't like it" he gestures over towards it

"I bet you aren't here to talk about this. are you?"

"You refused to see me"

"I don't know why do you find this so surprising, Naraku"

He knew she was refering to the events that transpired the night before

"Additionally, this arrangement is going to end soon, you should better get used to it"

"You shouldn't have encourged its progression so far"

"You speak like I had a choice" She sneered

"So you didn't enjoy my company at all, did you?" His lips curved into a mirthless smile

"As much as captives enjoy the company of their jailers"

"You look down upon me so much because of Inuyasha, isn't it?"

"I fail to see where Inuyasha fits in this entire ordeal"

"You love him, you love him so much you can see no one except him" His voice was betraying him, rising above level, he was incensed "Let me tell you this, Lady Kikyou, he has found a replacement, someone new ... she even looks so much like you"

"You don't know what you are talking about" She doubted herself, as much as she tried to show otherwise, to convince herself he was only goading her.

"A little bird on the road told me and by god, you know I am not lying this time. Do you feel hurt? betrayed? Do you loathe him? tell me what is it that you feel right now?" He marches closer to her, a step closer for every scale rising in his voice.

"Dread" he smiled triumphantly only to be instantly robbed of his assumed victory "For you, only for you. I will never hate Inuyasha, not for the life of me."

Her words were enough to tip his already flailing balance off

"Really, what is it that he has done to you? Hh, what more than I have done? Answer me, what is it that he has more than me?"

"Many things .. You,... you will never compare to the man Inuyasha is" she spit

Unwittingly, in her own fury, Kikyou further ignited his .. those words, those ones alone had sent him down a morbid path .. the green eyed monster with all his rage, anger and frustration has only ever needed them to rise.

"Oh, I beg to differ, I can be a better man, I am a better man to you" He was closer now, closer than he had ever been, she could see the monster going berserk, rising from the depth of hell, flashing in his eyes, in his contorted features and all of a sudden she is reminded of Magatsuhi .. the demon who killed her ancestor ...

Before she could step back, his lips crashes into hers, then suckles so hard, so passionately ... he is vehement, carnal in his approach,. His hands , they clasp her ... that is it, the end of their game, she feels, the end of the mind games, he was going to break her .. the way Magatsuhi broke Midoriko. Her entire body was paralysed with fear, her eyes were hardened .. but his hands they loosened just a bit, they started to move, to roam ... he was dragging her down, he was ...

_'Kikyou, snap out of it, Do something' _

Her eyes, they start to water ... her mouth, she tries to scream, it comes out muffled, ironically like a moan ... she tries to push him away, he is stronger ... She feels like she is going limb, all her dignity, all her pride crumbling to dust, turning to ashes under the weight of the monster.

He was aroused, his senses .. all his senses were clouded, were shutting down, that was past control of the man ... that was ...

His eyes snap open, this couldn't be real, he was dreaming again, but no .. her eyes were open, her eyes were full of fear, full of hate, her eyes were overflowing with tears.

He breaks away from her ... the tables were turning, he was the one going limb, she was pushing him away.

He recoils off her, as though struck by fire … panting, trying to recompose, to reign in the current of lust that washed over him.

_'Nothing happened, nothing happened' his mind sang like a mantra, a false reassurance. He pulled off last minute but that doesn't mean no damage was done. He almost broke her, almost … but she was hurt, he had hurt her beyond he could conceive __and at that moment, he was stuck between the monster who lost control and the man who loved and loved to no avail._

"Whatever I do, you will never love me, Kikyou. I repulse you that much" he said softly, voice laden with shame, sadness and heartbreak. He felt a sting in his eyes, a moisture .. a bleariness.

His head bows down. His face, he covers it with one of his hands.

She was a wreck, a weeping wreck on the floor.

"I don't blame you, I really don't. Who would love a fiend like me, a disgusting monster .. an illegitimate scarred half breed whose reputation is forged in deceit , madness and cowardice. I thought I made my peace with it. I thought I was rid of your love, I thought I only wanted power as I thought I would never hurt you ... but apparently I was wrong. That day, I came running to you because I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you, even in dreams but here I am doing the same thing I have been running away from all this time"

He quietly retreats now ... This hurricane, spurned in fury, it was over. He lost .. he lost her.

All those little pieces that were flimsily held together have broken apart.

* * *

He vigourously washes out every trace of her that lingered onto his body, every desire, every shame ... after he is done, he stares at himself in the mirror ... Pristine?! how ironic, a demon like him looking so clean.

He smashes the mirror in anger, and for the first time in so many years ... he falls down on his knees. His head, it cranes up to the heavens above as he roars

"Rid me of this madness, Rid me of this love ... Can't you see me suffering? Can't you hear me?"

His tears well up. His voice dies down "Just please, oh god, let her love me, even though I don't deserve her, even if it costs my life"

But he was a sinner, the worst type of sinners and he doubted heavens would answer to his prayers.

* * *

Once her mind has warped itself about what has happened, what was about to happen and all the things that has been said, all those left unsaid .. she was furious .. she was sad.

Kanna was hurled to by servants, their 'prisoner' has been thrashing the master's chamber .. Naraku, he didn't respond to them when they tried to tell him, he just told them to piss off and now Kanna stood by the door, terrified as Kikyou wrecks everything in the room ..

She was starting to pity him, she was starting to believe him .. she was a damn fool who had committed the same mistake twice.

On the ground, lies a hairpin she thinks she knows, destroyed, stomped on a million times.

Kanna is too scared to stop her, so she just watches the mayhem unfold, wondering what triggered Kikyou into that destructive spree.

"Kikyou ... Kikyou" she gently calls the woman, who looks her way. Kanna sees something in her eyes, a feebleness, a brokeness and she starts to think that the worst has happened between Naraku and their captive .

* * *

"Naraku .. Naraku"

Kanna furiously calls as she marches uninvited to his living quarters. It isn't much better than his room though .. shards of glass scatter on the floor .. her brother, he sits on a chair though. He is drained, tired and consumed in a way she had never seen him before and on any other occasion she would have been concerned .. Damn she is concerned about him right now but the way Kikyou was just muffles down everything in comparison

"What have you done to her?" She screams "Whatever the hell have you done?"

"Kanna, Go away" His tone was flat out, his anger was building up and she was risking him blowing up in her face ...

"Naraku, you didn't ..?"

He seemed to transcend into a world of his own

"Naraku .." she gritted

He started to laugh, maniacally

"I did what I am so good at ... I ruined her, the same way I ruin everything I touch"

"Oh my god, oh my god ..." Kanna was perturbed, shocked .. she had encouraged this, she was at guilt .. House Inutaisho will wage war after war to avenge Kikyou and ... Kagura , she was still at their mercy ..

"You are a monster" she spit "you have destroyed everything .. you ..."

"I don't care"

"What, you just set fire to the entire region and you don't care .."

"Kanna" Another voice intercepted this conversation, his head rose instinctively to who it was. It was Kikyou "Enough"

"Kikyou, I am .. I don't know what to say .. I .." Kanna knew no apology could ever remedy the horror she has been through.

"Nothing happened"

Kanna's eyes widened, all this and ..

_'She must be lying, she just wants to make sure a war doesn't break out, that he doesn't hurt her futher'_

"Kanna, I know what you are thinking but your brother, he hasn't done anything"

"Kikyou .."

"Your brother, he has you, a sister. He understands well the atrocity of it all. He is responsible enough"

"Then, what was this all about?"

"It was the bargain's price, Power, wasn't it? Kanna, suffice it to say it was nothing at all."

He could feel every word she is saying, a lash falling onto his back.

"Kanna, we need to leave, now. I will stay with you if you allow it. The room is uninhabitable in its state now."

She led the younger girl away, outside the dark of his room, but not before looking him pointedly in the eye, a dagger aiming at him, drawing blood out of him.

Then averting her sight away .. away from him

But he knew nothing, nothing he felt would compare to whatever she was feeling right now and that was death by itself.

_'My vision, it is overflowing with blood,_

_By You who is worth my own eyesight_

_Blinded as would be, _

_Bloodied as would be, _

_Oh my beloved n__ever part ways from my exhausted sight*_

For the first time in many years, Kagewaki cries.

* * *

_*** translations of various poems**_.


	11. A balance hanging

**A balance hanging**

Her wrists were sore, her ankles were sore .. those shackles, they hurt but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing.

Kikyou looks at him as he clutches hard on his cup, eyes never leaving hers for a second.

His eyes, she notices are Auburn, almost red in moments like this, moments of madness.

He was mad. After that fateful night, something broke in him. The once cautious, almost coward Naraku was exhibiting a recklessness, a nonchalance that was too foreign to him, a stupidity she must say as to take her, his sister and a good portion of his troops on his journey for negotiations, leaving his capital city susceptable for an inevitable attack, breaching the terms of negotiations with Sesshomaru.

And now on their way to the lands of the wolves, he insists she travel in shackles with him, stay in his own tent against Kanna's advice .. in a brackish intent on humiliating her.

They were back to the square one.

They have both retreated to how they used to be before their wretched familiarity, she became as withdrawn as he distanced himself .. as he became cruel .. and part of Kikyou wonders if all the cruelty he is showing is merely a ploy to convince her .. to convince himself he no longer harbours anything for her.

It wasn't working though.

His shell was already broken, and he was now exposed to her .. and the worst part is she was beginning to pity him, she was beginning to sympathise the way she used to when she was tending to him, nursing him back to health in Shikon instead of vehemently hating him.

It was getting on her nerves .. it made the whole lot of simply hating him for her capture and the terrorising night they had together harder than should be.

Although part of her was also happy she was finally moving out of his domain .. she was marching towards her people even in shackles and that should make her hopeful ... but somehow with Naraku there isn't much hope to expect in the first place and again she was giddy .. all the changes that have come to pass while she was captive, they unnerved her ..Inuyasha, Kaede ... everything ..

She will have to wait for everything to unfold eventually.

* * *

All in all, Kagome could say Kagura wasn't that bad.

They had to share a ride, all the women in the entourage and so she along with Sango were forced to deal with Kagura.

It was so tedpid at first and admittedly Kagura had an annoying sense of sass, but eventually they got along.

She was as much a fighter as bith her and Sango were.

But she could sense a rift between her and her brother, a big one. Kagura didn't rever him in any sort. In fact, she might be close enough to call him an enemy as much as they do.

That is why she kept a thin straight line of non chalance when they were talking about him, never negating any atrocity they attributed to him.

But Koga, the wolves leader was an entirely different thing ...

It was almost comical when they met .. with his attention all shifted to her, leaving Inuyasha riling and going up in smoke.

Sesshomaru was almost amused as well by the constant tension his half brother was in and she felt kind of satisfied really, a payback for all the times she felt sidetracked in favour of Kikyo.

Kikyo, an absentee who is always present, always a constant in her life.

But joking aside, Koga had worrisome news, the eyes on the road told him Naraku has gathered troops, he was marching in more numbers than termed and that they should quickly assemble their allies as well.

"I knew the bastard wouldn't keep his word" Inuyasha commented

if there is one thing common between Inuyasha and Koga, it would be their loathe for Naraku

"He is marching in approximately how many?" Sesshomaru asked

"A thousand"

"He must be mad" Miroku said "Such number for a simple endeavor .. we termed a hundred in our negotiations, we even thought that was too much ."

"Koga, how many troops can you gather in this short while from your tribes?"

"A hundred more, but forgive me, they might be skeptical. I mean, they might think you are sacrificing them instead of your troops and they might be reluctant to ..."

"How many can we gather from our nearby station points, Inuyasha?"

"A good few hundreds as well .. if we want to gather half as much as Naraku has, we can do so without as much trouble, no need for skeptics and cowards"

Inuyasha was clearly shading his wolverine counter part, earning him a pointed look from Sessuhomaru and a glare from Koga.

"We will have to call them to arms then, right now"

"Do you think he wants war?"

"No, I don't think so, but we should be careful." Sesshomaru concluded.

* * *

They reached the outskirts of the city one day after the date agreed upon, Naraku was travelling slow, intentionally slow and Kikyo doubted this round of negotiation would pass peacefully.

He seemed keen on testing Sesshomaru's patience.

And Kikyo didn't doubt his, but rather Inuyasha's and she had every reason to.

He was more than seething by the time Naraku arrived. Disrespect .. this is what it should be called, arriving after due date, this should be good reason enough to revoke all those negotiations ...

But Sesshomaru will never do and Miroku tended to get along with him on that.

"At least, let us get Kohaku before you decide to go on rampage, please Inuyasha?"

* * *

Sesshomaru sent his messenger, now that they should meet ...

Koga had setup his tents already, in between both camps .. Naraku would come in fifty guards along with Kohaku ... and so shall Sesshomaru.

The day had arrived, everybody lined up for the meeting ... Naraku intended on wearing the best of his garbs, riding the best of his horses .. he respected Sesshomaru that much and he felt that much inferior, inferior to him.

Sesshomaru rode along with Inuyasha and Miroku, Kagura was taggimg along on a horse of her own. She was palpably shaken, sad ... Kagome could feel. But she had to go back.

Sesshomaru craned his head towards her, giving her one pointed look and an almost smile, only she could see

"Don't say a word, follow me"

Both parties treaded their way to the centre cautiously until they met face to face on the field

"Lord Sesshomaru" Naraku nodded his head

"Naraku"

Both hostages swapped their sides without a single word .. in the distance stood both spectators holding their breathe ..

Kanna couldn't believe her sister came back to her and Sango ran towards her brother, eyes tearing as he approached her. Finally her nightmare was over, her little boy was back.

"Now that our little swap over has been gotten over without much hussle, allow me to invite you both to our tents to resume the rest of our friendly chat" Koga grunted

Sesshomaru, Inuyasha and Miroku dismounted their horses, followed suite by Naraku and his general Bankotsu

"May I request Lady Kagura be presence at our talk?" Sesshomaru requested

Miroku, Inuyasha ... everybody within hearing distance was taken aback by the unexpected request even Naraku couldn't hide his intrigue, why would lord Sesshomaru possibly ask for such thing.

"Excuse me?" Bankotsu replied

"I was asking if Lady Kagura would join us at our negotiation talks"

"I don't think that is possible nor proper, Lord Sesshomaru"

Sesshomaru looked solemn, before nodding his head, he wasn't fighting Naraku for this, no .. he had plentiful more to fight for.

"Can you at least let her be within hearing distance?"

"That if it could be arranged"

Something in Naraku doubted what Sesshomaru means and that further threw him off balance but no, he will have to doubt himself, he will have to bail on that thought ...

_'It can't be ...'_

* * *

They sat facing each other, Naraku didn't try to show off in front of Sesshomaru, there is the thing, he respected Sesshomaru, looked up to him even .. imagined himself in his shoes, respectable, revered and loved ..he even wondered sometimes what didn't Kikyou fall in love with him instead of Inuyasha? was it the fact he was married? Maybe .. or maybe they were just too strong for each other, anyways they don't change anything, his thoughts .. They don't lessen the pain even, Sesshomaru .. Inuyasha ... Kikyou will never love him.

"You know we come to negotiate Lady Kikyou's release" He cut to the chase, Sesshomaru is his usual no non-sense self.

"Of course, Lord Sesshomaru. I amnot surprised"

"So, what is it that you want Naraku?"

"Lord Sesshomaru, I never said I wanted anything"

Indirectness was really Sesshoamru's bane, and he was so good at being indirect that it got on Sesshomaru's nerves.

But he remained silent, stoic .. waiting for Narakku to list his price

Only Inuyasha couldn't remain as patient.

"So, you are holding her captive for sport. Naraku, get this done with, otherwise I swear to g.."

Sesshomaru glanced towards Miroku who seemed to take his cue, nudging Inuyasha slightly so he would understand it was time to stop.

Luckily, he seemed to understand.

Naraku made a point not to respond to Inuyasha, I would rile him more and indeed it did. Inuyasha was eyeing him with all sorts of contempt, of deridance and abjectness.

But if it made him angry, he was too good at concealing it.

"Naraku, In the end, it maybe inevitable to forsake lady Kikyou to us. Let's make it sooner than later for all our sakes."

Naraku recognised this as a thinly veiled threat on Sesshomaru's part and an offer for him as well.

As for the threat, he wouldn't bother, as long as he has what they want, they will tolerate him so mostly their threats are empty.

As for the offer ... his was far fetched

"Do you have a preposition lord Sesshomaru? From the manner of your speech, it sounds you have something on mind."

"I do have, if you are willing to listen"

"I wouldn't be here, if not"

"How about an alliance of sorts?"

Naraku couldn't deny it sounded appealing ..

"What kind of alliance?"

"A general one .. economical, political and military. We can offer you aid in fending off Rasetsu, we could open all our blocked ways to trade .. Plenty of things if you are open to it"

"Sounds appealling but ... the sovergnity"

"You remain lord of your region, King of your land with as much autonomy as could be provided ... "

"And why should I accept this?"

"Think about the benefits we can both reap, and the enemy at the door"

"That is all that it is?"

"Actually No, we still have more to offer"

"If you need a ransom of sorts for the lady Kikyou, we can negotiate this .."

"You speak to me like I am a worthless Bandit, Lord Sesshomaru .. It isn't the money that I seek"

Sesshomaru knew Naraku loved money and did all that it is to obtain it, but somehow he seemed sincere in his objection .. this really isn't about money to Naraku.

"Very well then .. "

"Your offer is appealing, although it needs much time and more details to be approached"

"But preliminary, are willing to consider it?"

"I must otherwise I'd be out of my mind, wouldn't I? but tell me, lord Sesshomaru, all this for the Lady Kikyou"

"The lady Kikyou has always been a harbinger of peace and prosperity between regions. I think she would be extremely happy her release woud bring our alliance to existence"

"What if i said no? What if I want something more?"

"Like what?"

"Shikon for an instance, what if I want to add Shikon to my soverignty, my territory?"

Sesshomaru mustered all his might not to show any sign of his internal fury ... this isn't getting easier, on the contrary, it is getting harder.

"I have no authority to hand over Shikon to you. this choice is lady Kikyou's to make"

"But it is under your soverignty"

"By mutual agreement between our houses, it doesn't give me authority however to make such choice on the people's behalf, on Kikyou's behalf"

"What if she says yes?"

"She won't .."

"you are too confident"

"I just know her well."

This statement made his boil, everybody seemed to know Kikyou better thatn himself. He knew her, didn't he? He knew her as well, better than all of them. Kikyou maybe honorable, kind and selfless but she was human as well, Kikyou was no saint. She wanted to be priortirised over territory, over power and land ... even when she doesnt voice it loud, even when she vehemently denies it, somewhere in her soul she was craving ...

it doesn't matter.

Maybe it is him who really doesn't know her at all.

"Is there anything more you wish to offer Lord Sesshomaru?"

"There is .."

Naraku couldn't think he possibly had anything more to offer but Sesshomaru managed to surprise him when he said

"If you should consider our former offer, I would like to strengthen our ties further by asking Kagura's Hand in Marriage"

The entire place fell silent.


	12. Pieces that fall out of place

**Pieces that fall out of place**

There was a chill in the air, a chill down his bone, everything seemed to slow down around him, around them .. gapping mouths, gapping wounds that seemed to reopen ...

Surprise, what kind of surprise had Sesshomaru up his sleeves ... the only one who seemed to be happy was Kagura, whose eyes had watered

_'He wants me, he really really wants me'_

But others couldn't fathom and Naraku .. his mind was whirling and whirling and twisting and part of him was nauseated

Suddenly, all the words in his vocabulary seemed to be gone and against better judgement all he could say was

"This can never happen"

Kagura's jovial face fell, Sesshomaru's seemed to darken and Tension seemed to stretch the entire room , to stretch the entire time.

"You would want to give yourself some time to reconsider perhaps"

"I ... we will have to leave now"

Naraku motioned his trope to rise, yet he could hear Inuyasha's voice, floating over the din and murmur

"Kikyou, you aren't giving us Kikyou back, are you?"

He didn't respond

"I swear to god, Naraku I will get her back from you, I will set this entire region on fire, slit your throat if I have to and you won't have anything to do, coward"

Naraku looked him over his shoulder one last time before he left.

* * *

His mind was being seared, he knew he was heading down a very dangerous place.

It didn't take much time for the to reach their campsite, a stifled Kagura and a wasted Naraku.

And once inside his tent .. all hell broke loose.

All the control Kagura mustered before dissipated once inside, a glance at the Shackled Kikyou further infuriated the former captive as Kanna stood helpless against both her siblings' wrath

"Why the hell did you refuse Sesshomaru's offer? Huh, and what the hell are you doing to Kikyou here?"

"I simply said no because you are betrothed and as for Kikyou I do as I please, she is my captive"

"Me, Betrothed, since when Pray tell? To whom, dear brother?" Poisonous sarcasm dripped like hot metal from her mouth, a stark contrast to Naraku's blue anger.

"Bankotsu, dear sister"

"You know I will never accept that arrangement not for the life of me, I'd rather elope or die than marry one of your stooges"

"So you'd marry the enemy then"

"Who said Sesshomaru was an enemy?"

"Me .. He sure is an enemy"

"He never crossed any bounds, you started this war ..."

" And I intend to finish it, dear sister. But let me ask, what happened exactly between you and the utter fool while you were captive?"

"What are you trying to insinuate?"  
"I need to know what kind of damage was done."

"Sesshomaru was nothing but the kind regal man he has always been. Nothing happened so you could use against him"

"Really, your bout of defense trully affected me, has the heartless Kagura fallen in love?"

"Yes, against all odds and all your expectations, yes I fell in love with him"

"Too bad, it isn't going to end well then" he frigidly replied

"No, it will, against your will, Naraku. I amnot Kikyou and Sesshomaru is nothing like you"

He was taken aback by her bite, shaken even .. Kikyou on the other hand was still listening to the war taking place between siblings

"What do you mean?"

Kagura Thespianally laughed

"Do you think nobody knows? Everybody, every single body knows why you are keeping Kikyou captive .. The Joke is on you"

Kagura proceeded to taunt him

"you are miserable, so miserale you want nobody to be happy. Are you jealous of Sesshomaru now, that he managed to win my favour while you only managed to affirm Kikyou's loathe for you even more? Are you jealous we love each other? Are you still jealous of Inuyasha that he managed to capture Kikyou's heart? Do you still feel inferi..?"

She didn't finish that word, he leapt at her, planning to get a good grip of her hems, hands raised, ready to strike ..

"Naraku, brother please don't. I beg of you. don't be like him please, don't be like father" Kanna tearfully interjected .. pulling onto her brother while Kagura's defiant eyes bored into his.

But he still couldn't manage to fully gain control .. he striked her on the face before proceeding to roar like a wounded animal ...

A thousand broken thoughts, a thousand broken pieces of his heart were brought down by Kagura's words, by the day's events.

Kanna knew this Naraku was a dangerous one ...

He pushed Kagura aside, shifting his stance towards Kikyou.

His hands were unsteady as he unshackled her, tied her hands using a rope and pulling her all over middleway between Sesshomaru's campsite and his.

"After him" Kanna instructed his guards "Don't leave his side" she said as she marched head on in front of them

* * *

"Inuyasha ..." He roared "Inuyasha"

He was causing a scene .. Inuyasha, Miroku, Sesshomaru and Koga recognised his voice.

They marched outside their tents, armed and sheathed .. they were expecting ..this.

A grand scheme on Naraku's part.

But the situation infront of them took them by storm.

He was standing, holding Kikyou at knife point in front of him. the blade grazing her neck at a dangerous point.

"Your precious Kikyou, Here she is"

Inuyasha was inflamed, eveyone was.

"Come and get her, Champion. Come"

His features were that of a madman, that even Inuyasha as hot headed as he was, felt hesitant to advance.

Sesshomaru put his hand on his brother's chest. A rare gesture on his behalf, he was halting him. Sesshomaru could read Naraku .. this Naraku wasn't in his right mind and thus he potentially could do anything. Sesshomaru was thinking of a way to neutralise him.

"Come on Inuyasha, I dare you. I shall never give her to you, never ... and if you will have her ... She will be a corpse. Kikyou will never be yours. Hear me, never"

An arrow flew past the distance and lodged into his Arm, the knife it fell of his hand .. and for the first time, Kikyou and Kagome's eyes' met.

The dopplegagners looked at each other from across the distance.

The similarity was uncanny.

"Kagome" Inuyasha instinctively rushed to her side ... looking across towards Kikyou.

It was over.

They realised.

Both cohorts stood face to face now, not knowing what to do, shal they advance and engage in combat, shall they fallback? it was a mess, a bloody mess they knew

"Naraku" Inuyasha shouted across the distance

"I will kill you" Every word said was in the earnest.

Bankotsu advanced first accompanied by Kanna, they pulled Kikyou and Naraku back, closer to their side.

Sesshomaru stood steadily, weighing his options well .. _'Not today' _he thought

He motioned his troops to fall back slow, but stead mirroring how Kanna and Bankotsu withdrew their troops.

* * *

Mangled, an understatement of how the situation played out to be ... Beyond sane, beyond political ...

"You put us all in this" Inuyasha spit at Sesshomaru "You and your stupid whim ..."

"I shan't take you by account of your current words .. but know this extends far beyond whimsical. At least, I am decisive and I know what I want, not like you or the insane Man on the other side"

* * *

He knew he took it to far. He dragged her along, endangering her and humiliating her far in front of everybody. Once in his tent, aided and bandaged he untied her, leaving her unshackled for the rest of the night, as he fell asleep but that .. it didn't help pacify Kikyou, not a bit.

Her pride was bruised and her heart .. it was torn, broken .. she was .. Inuyasha was no longer hers, she felt it, she knew it and worse she hated Naraku for it, for pulling the final straw but .. she was trying to understand how could he insist that much on her .. Naraku, the conundrum she doesn't understand.

But right now, she couldn't but hate him .. He separated her from Inuyasha, he condescended her. She stared at him, detestfully as he slept away from her. He drove her mad ... he ..

Her eyes, they rummaged through the room, until they settled on what they sought. The blade, it weakly flickered across the room, the same one he used on her and it further drew her ire.

She moved swiftly, clutching the blade. gliding across towards him.

She held onto the handle, ready to plunge it through his chest. However, something held her back, she stumbled through ...

"Do it" he quietly muttered

She dropped the blade

"Do it, Kikyou. You have every right to. But do you have heart?"

He held onto her wrist , tightly as he sat up from his reclination.

"Little do you know, you do it, Kikyou, everynight, in my dreams, you kill me, you kill me a thousand times."

What she did though, was unexpected. She fell to her knees, eyes watering. She held onto him then, embracing him so tight, it took him by surprise, muttering into his ears

"Why do you do this? all this?"

"Kikyou, I ..."

She broke away from him, grabbing him closer, looking him in the eyes ..She cupped his face in her hands as she closed her eyes and started to kiss him, nibbling onto his lips slowly ... he didn't know what she was doing, what he was doing as he started to respond to her.

Despite his injury, the raw wound that still hurt from beneath the bandage, he could still support her weight, twist her and pin her beneath him .. she wasn't resisting .. no she wasn't doing anything at all ..

Yet, suddenly he started to realise, this doesn't feel right, doesn't taste right. This Kikyou has lost control .. this Kikyou was hurting, this Kikyou was desperate.

He succeeded in breaking her, he thought it would taste much sweeter to see her this way .. but why does he feel so empty?

He broke away from her, springing up from his position, intending on leaving the tent, leaving her behind.

"I am sorry, Kikyou. I am really sorry for all the things you have been through"

After all the madness, Kagewaki needed a moment of clarity to himself.


	13. The end of the war

**The end of the war**

Defeated bleary eyes stared right into stoic ones, this war; it is already lost to her ... to him. Earlier that day, he came up to her, looking as rigid and cold as he always used to be.

"Wash up, dress in these" he sounded hollow, but even behind this hollowness, this apathy, she felt like something has broken.

He walked right out of the tent, giving her no time to ask for anything.

The garments he brought were so beautiful, lavish and intricate, ceremonious. He even brought rosewater of the finest quality and the best of smell, Kohl and balm …

When he came back, she was already done. He looked at her longly … the longest he had ever looked that she was taken off guard, she was frozen in place, still though his eyes they showed nothing, his looks were ...

"Come with me" he gestured, and she strode out.

She found an entourage, a cohort of his guards ready to escort them.

Her heart clenched, she could only assume the worst

'_Is he thinking about a forcib..'_

She tried to look unfazed, she will never allow this, nor will she agree, but really will her voice be heard? Does it have any meaning, any weight in those circumstances?

However, what she didn't count on was them making their way to the other side, the other camp where her kins, her allies reside.

"What ..."

"You were right, Kikyou. This has to end, this war"

Her eyes widened and all the words dissipated in her mouth. After all this time, all this pain, he just gives her up so anticlimactically, so simply.

What was she thinking? How is it she is thinking like that? That was her opportunity, her chance to be free again, be it what it is, how it is …

But …

Instinctively, her hands struck him across his face, right where the edges of his old scars were visible and she held his helms, shaking him, to his very core mumbling strings of incoherent words: bereavements, thoughts and insults … staring right into his eyes ..

"Shh … It is time for you to go home"

He held onto her forearms, forcing her to release her grip onto his garbs

Right from across Sesshomaru, Inuyasha and a group of their soldiers were waiting … ready with her ransom, ready to receive her … watching from a far with a mixture of vigilance and curiosity at the scene unfolding.

The remnants of the sane voice inside her head told her it is time to recompose, she had to and in an instant she did.

He looked again; she resembled a bride, an angel, such a beautiful remarkable young woman ... always within himself, never within his reach.

_'How lovely would it have been, if this fantasy could last'_

He stared back at her, one last time, he resolved. This farewell, turned out was much messier than they both anticipated.

"Goodbye, Kikyou" he gently pulls her towards him, in an embrace, momentarily oblivious to all the incredulous looks he is being given, all the lividness of the other side, all the hurt between them.

Then he broke away from her, retreating to the back lines while Bankotsu marched forwards, waiting for the ransom to be transferred.

She advanced towards the other side, still in a haze, a trance of everything that she has been through.

And as they both drifted apart, a stray tear fell from both their eyes.


End file.
